I’ve had a lot of people tell me I should write a book. And while I don’t like people telling me what to do, once in a great while I will humor them.
So I wrote a book.
You should probably buy it.
Thank you to Amy for her help with the covers.
Before you go thinking anything fancy, let me tell you that it’s self-published and the whole process has take more time and energy (and money) than I planned on. The pictures aren’t exactly stellar and I’m sure there’s at least one rogue punctuation mark somewhere.
But I decided I wanted a collection of my words I could hold in my hand and give to my mom, something I couldn’t accidentally delete while looking for a vegan cheesecake recipe on the Internet.
This is the front and back cover and it looks better in person, so you should probably just buy it.
So, the result is this book—150 pages of posts from the past two years that you can read while you’re on the crapper, either in paperback or Kindle format from the CreateSpace store orAmazon.
But that’s not the cool thing.
The cool thing is that if you buy this book, you can help save a shelter animal (this is where the kitten and/or dog and/or one-eyed hamster come in.)
I didn’t publish this book to try and make money, as that is a laughable notion. I published it so I could share my crazy view on things and maybe make you laugh, smile or feel a bit more normal. So if you invest a little bit of time and money into reading it, I will give a little bit of time and money back.
Any profits that are made from this book will go directly into an “Animals Have Issues” fund for the Humane Society and used to fund our annual gift.
You know I love my shelter animals, and more than 8 million animals enter shelters every year. As you know, you get what you give, and for the cost of some overpriced coffee, you can get something cool and give back something tangible (and avoid having to listen to someone in front of you order a half-caff, skim, sugar-free, extra hot mocha with 1 3/4 pumps of calorie-free syrup, extra oxygen and 75 sprinkles.)
So with a click of the mouse, a sharing/StumblingUpon/Tweet of this post, we can build up some kick-ass support for some animals that, well, have issues of their own and need some help.
Sound like a plan?
So in case you’re like me and need things spelled out for you:
- Buy the book either here or here and the Kindle version here
- Tell a friend or ten
- Write a review on Amazon and help me get the word out
- Save a kitten and a puppy and some abandoned one-eyed hamster
- Enter the pantheon of awesomeness
Disclaimer: Amazon is still building the page, so there’s no description or “look inside” feature yet, but you can still buy it and I’ll update this when it’s done.
Also, I’m still trying to figure out how to pimp the book out with a picture/link on the front of my blog. It seems WordPress doesn’t allow the convenient link from Amazon, so I’m trying to figure out an alternative without violence (help!)
I promise not to hit you over the head with this for too long—I’ll be back to my regularly rambling neurosis soon enough.
But for now?
I wrote a book.
It’s the holiday season and this makes a fast and easy gift.
You should probably buy it.
Buy the book. Save a kitten.
*Press materials available upon request
Congrats to you! This is great. I am so pimping you.
This is just fucking awesome.
in my cart, and damn amazon prime too! free shipping is da bomb.
congrats abby, this is brilliant. i cant wait!
wow oh wow oh wow…why didn’t you tell me you were writing a book?
This is awesome. It makes the perfect wedding anniversary gift for me. I’ll have The Bobina save a kitten when I get home.
OMG CAN YOU SIGN MINE?! Seriously, I am so excited for you! 🙂
AMAZING. Just put it into the cart 🙂
Just bought mine!
Can’t wait to read it! And hope you can fill me on on how the hell you did this… I’d love to do this for my blog, too! Congrats!!!
That’s great! I’ll be ordering mine straight away…
Congratulations!! I know you put a lot of work into it and I can’t wait to get mine (you ship to Canada right? Right?) You are an amazingly talented writer and I can’t wait to read you on the can (I mean that as a compliment.) I’m so excited for you! I’ve only been reading your blog since the spring, so I look forward to reading everything I’ve missed out on before that. Yay!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to my favorite favorite person on the planet. You cease to amaze me and I couldn’t be more proud. Love ya soooooo much. mom
I meant to say ‘never cease to amaze me’. Or did I?
No freaking way!!!!! When’s the book tour? Your coming to LA, right? WTF all got to the humane society? They should go to the “abby needs to get a house that doesn’t attack her” fund. Anyhow, I knew youd write a book someday, so I can’t say this is a surprise. I don’t have a kindle or ipad or anything like that so I’l get the solid version for the crapper.
PS, when will you be on Ellen?
I just ordered two paperbacks on Amazon! One will be for my mother in law the other for me. So looking forward to getting them. This is wonderful.
Congratulations. I will order it immediately
That is so awesome! Good job Abby!
baaaaaaaaaaaah!! Love it. I’m totally ordering one or a million. I know what an undertaking this is as i’ve considered it many times and then threw in the towel. Congrats and i’m so excited!!!!!!!! #badassgirlcult
Wow, congratulations! That is awesome. So, would it be possible to get a shelter animal named after a book buyer? Mayor Gia Hamster would rule all!
There’s a story in there about how they named a shelter dog after me because I saved it on the way to a job interview, so I don’t see why not! Then again, everyone has a dog named Abby, so it’s not so rare…
I had a dog named Abby!
My parent killed it for biting the neighbor boy. I’ll never forgive that kid.
Proud doesn’t begin to descibe how I feel. Always knew you had it in you.
You’ve inspired me to write the next great american novel on Kielbasa’s from around the world! You know how many yards of Kielbasa I can buy for $9.95? Love ya!
You sneaky little devil, writing a book on the sly! This is going on my Christmas shopping list for practically everyone I’m buying for!
This is awesome!
So excited for you! Going to tweet my heart out right now and pick up a few copies for the holidays! Good for you! 😉 And just in time for the holidays.
I was going to buy it anyways since I like to support awesome people but after seeing the proceeds go to the Humane Society-you had me at hello
Can we get autographed copies? 🙂
If you come all the way to Michigan with Lincoln and your coupons, you can have anything you want!
Crazy, crazy cool. So excited! I’m off to “pick up” my copy now. Getting to save a kitten, too, that’s just the icing.
Well, it’s basically my JOB to save kittens. I’d probably be fired if I didn’t buy this right now.
..and if I get my commission any time soon, I might just have to buy some more. For the kittens. Obviously.
Considering you do it on a daily basis, you’re technically exempt from kitten guilt. However, it’s still appreciated 😉
I am so buying this as stocking stuffers for everyone….
(and I don’t even really like Kittens 😉
Hey! That is awesome! I’m definitely going to buy it. Can’t wait to read it! Congratulations. 🙂
Hey, that is just AWESOME. Congrats to you. May many hundreds of puppies & kitties be helped by you
Amazing! And congrats! A friend of mine recently self-published a book and I know it was a huge labor of love – i.e. lots of time, lots of work, and lots of money. But it was all worth it in the end. And don’t tell him, but I’m sure your book is much better. Also, he’s not donating his profits to the kittens.
Ordering my copy today!
This is brilliant Abby! What a generous spirit you have.
Congrats! I’m going to save all the kittys!
I’ve just put it in my shopping cart and look forward to reading it. You’re one of my favorites. As it turns out, I’m doing the same thing and my book will be out next week, with part of the profits going to Tales of Joy Pet Rescue. I’m a softy for needy fur-babies, too. Wishing you much success, my friend.
You have to keep me updated, as I will put yours in my shopping cart, as well! I’m so glad I have something to look forward to reading…
Congrats! I’ll buy mine directly from the author. Think of something nice to inscribe. Something about chocolate and puppies.
Can you buy them directly from the author? I don’t even have one yet, so that could be a problem. At any rate, I owe you my first million. I think I’m up to $5.17, so you might be waiting awhile.
Holy wow. Super proud of you. Congrats, Abby! How long exactly did it take to whip this one out? And there better be a book tour…to L.A. first stop, all right?
You rule. This is freakin’ awesome!
This is great. I love your writing and attitude to life so it is nice to have it in a more permanent format. Pity you cannot sign it. I must try and review it on Amazon for you
Love one-eyed hamsters. Congrats!
This comment has made my life complete. The end.
Good for you. I always say a real book, one with pages that you can touch – there’s nothing like it. Congrats, Abby, whether it’s self-published or not.
Congratulations! And the picture of you with the asparagus is stellar. It’s why I started reading your blog.
I heard on the radio this morning, that eReaders are the #4 electronic gift this year and what better to read on an eReader than you!
You make me proud to be a Michiganian (or do you prefer Michigander?) Good luck.
Ahh…the Michiganian/Michigander debate. Once sounds like a goose and one sounds like, well, something unidentifiable. Either way, I just say I’m from Michigan and put out my hand to show the city that I’m from. Unfortunately, I have no idea where GR is on the “mitten”–directions are not my strong suit–so I do it quickly and move on.
Pingback: Odds & Ends « The Great Balancing Act
Once again my brilliant niece reminds me just how much it sucks to be ungifted me. Congrats to you girl! Uncle Ron…..
GEEZ! You are pimp! I don’t even really like cats, but I’ll still get the book!
You can use that as your motivation. “I DON’T like cats, but I like dogs, so I’m going to buy the book to piss off the cats and favoring the dogs.” See? I can rationalize anything. Thank you so much!!!
Pingback: 7 Healthy Tips for the Impulsive and Impatient | The Great Fitness Experiment
Even though I just discovered your blog recently through The Great Fitness Experiment, I plan on buying for my Kindle.
I love Charlotte, so that automatically gives you some huge bonus points. The fact that you bought the Kindle version? Rock star 😉 Thank you!
Okay, so I’ve been lost in the shuffle of life for a while, but I’m back and so proud of you for doing this, girl! You know I am the same about shelter animals, so I’ll be buying one version or another soon. You rock, Abby! Once I get back in the swing of things, I’ll be pimping it out, too.
Pingback: 7 Healthy Tips for the Impulsive and Impatient | Frugivore Magazine