I forced my mom to look through her old cedar chest the other day for something for a future post, and along with aggressive letters to the Tooth Fairy and Santa, she came upon my baby book.
I’ll decode it for you below, but I wanted to show it as evidence.
While I didn’t stick around for the whole trip down memory lane, a couple pictures fell out when she opened to this page and it pretty much cemented the fact that not much has changed since I was just a wee little Abby with mini-issues.
Eat, Play, Love
While I doubt that whatever I’m shoving in mouth was organic or vegetarian as it is today, I developed a love for food at an early age. Here I’m so totally engrossed in it that I don’t even ham it up for the camera, which is a rarity.
I can also guarantee that if you got too close, I would stab you with my fork.
You’re A Star, Baby
Well, that humility didn’t last long.
With no food in the picture, I started channeling my inner Marilyn Monroe shortly after. This is surely photographic evidence that I was destined for a life on stage. But as we know, Broadway was not meant to be.
The Anti-Mommy
Even at a young age, it was evident that I was not mommy material. Yes, I’m attempting to feed that homely doll I named Gert after my grandma’s best friend, but I clearly resent the tedious nature of her neediness.
But the comments under “Response to Necessary Punishment” in my baby book pretty much seals the deal:
“Hates to be told no. Gets frustrated. Tell her ‘no’ or ‘uh-uh’ and she smiles and squeals to try and warm up to you. Knows not to touch things when told though. Slap her hand and she refuses to let you know it bothers her. Never cries yet (11 months) and teases you. Goes ‘awww’ and gives hugs and kisses when she’s going to do something naughty. Sneaky.”
In other words, some things never change.
This post was in response to me accidentally coming across that page, but it also fit nicely into the Studio 30 Plus prompt this week:
Changes
Like the blog? Buy the book.
Abby Has Issues 
The picture of you feeding the doll is cracking me up. It’s like, “I will feed you so you don’t die, but I will not engage you in any way while doing so!”
I used to cut the hair off of my Barbies and change doll diapers while holding them upside down by their ankles. My choice to remain childless was probably something I was born with, although I claim I knew it by the time I was 12.
LOVE the anti-mommy. Boy, can I relate. You were a cute little dickens, weren’t you?
These baby pictures of you are wonderful. The photo of you feeding that doll and the expression on your face is absolutely PRICELESS.
I love that picture with the poofy dress so much. People’s baby books are proof that people do not change. We are who we are.
The pictures are great. Love the anti-Mommy~
Wow- ain’t it the truth. A shameless flirt who’d smile right at you but do exactly what she wanted. I knew we were sisters!
Love the photos.
Oh, Abby. Never change. (Although it doesn’t seem like you have since you were knee high to a grasshopper).
🙂
The anti-mommy picture is classic. It needs to be an internet meme.
Why were they slapping your hand at 11 months? I thought that didn’t start until Catholic school. Geez.
Cute! Makes me wanna get my baby book out 😀
Every chick should channel her inner Marilyn Monroe don’t you think?
The side eye in that last picture is awesome. And I love that your mom used the term “sneaky” about you in your baby book! Classic.
I love the cut-eye in the anti-mommy photo. Also, the fact that the bottle isn’t even in the doll’s mouth, like you really don’t give a crap.
And, also, the fact that you’re pigging out in a t-shirt that has cherries on it.
Adorable.
You channeling Marilyn Monroe totally cracked me up!
What I would like to know is, WHY doesn’t my baby book have a “Response to Necessary Punishment” section? Seems like an important enough thing to document for future reference! “Little Abby has mini issues!” HEHEHE LOVED that.
This reminds me of my realization about a decade ago that I was in fact depressed and had been so even as a child. Sigh. Some things never change.
This is awesome. I knew we were meant to be. That is all.
I love looking at old pictures! (Not saying *you* are old just pictures from the past. Hush, it’s late.) And this: ” Slap her hand and she refuses to let you know it bothers her.” makes me think we are soul toddler-sisters;)