Where Do I Send the Check?

Being a single woman who supports herself and an increasingly needy feline, I’m kind of picky on how I spend my increasingly decreasing money.

I prioritize—general bills, quality food that I want and enjoy and catnip so the hairball will leave me alone while I stare at a blank page on the screen. I don’t buy fancy clothes or makeup, I rarely eat out or party and obviously I don’t have cash to spend on a fancy blog design—or any at all.

Wow. That would be the worst singles ad ever.

With that out of the way, there are some things I will never hesitate to pay someone else to do. These are things I could probably do myself to some extent if I was willing to a) learn and b) pay for it by losing what sanity I might have left.

I can’t afford to lose any more sanity, so instead I just lose a few bucks.

My Taxes

This time of year everyone is buzzing about trying to find their 1099 or WD40 forms or what have you. I am a creative person. I am not a numbers person. All I know about taxes is that the small woodland creatures I keep fed in my back yard cannot count as deductions and that people dressed like Uncle Sam/Lady Liberty holding “Fast Tax Services” signs dominate busy street corners.

Considering the penalty for making a mistake on your taxes isn’t as simple as crossing something out and writing “Oops!” like I do in my checkbook, I’ll gladly pay a trusted professional—not one dressed in a costume—to figure all these things out.

Anything Automotive

Aside from putting gas in my Blazer and scheduling oil changes, I’m clueless when it comes to automotive repair. As a female it pains me to say that because it’s such a stereotype, but it’s true. If there’s a problem that can’t be solved by turning up the radio so I don’t hear the dysfunctional sound it’s making, I’m calling in an expert.

I can’t be trusted to not accidentally triple-knot my shoelaces, so this includes changing a tire.

Cut My Hair

I’ve accepted the fact that my hair’s “awkward phase” has lasted about seven years. Because of that, I’m not above coloring my hair from a box.

But ever since an unfortunate incident when I was six and cut my own hair (and that of our dog,) put it in envelopes and hid it under the couch, I have not gone near my hair with scissors. Considering my hair is lame anyway, it’s worth it to me to pay a lovely woman a few bucks to trim up what’s left and blame her for how it will look.

Anything with My Computer

I have basic computer knowledge in that I can overshare on Facebook, send out email writing pitches that I never hear back from and find pictures of sloths wearing makeup. I cannot do HTML or self-host my blog, and when I receive an error message or my computer freaks out in some way, I freak out in every way.

A phone call is made. A check is written.

Make Sushi

While I’m all about making my own food 99 percent of the time, I don’t understand people who make sushi at home. Okay. I get that it can be fun to have a “sushi rolling party” or whatever, but when I want veggie sushi I don’t want to spend three hours trying to get rice and perfectly sliced veggies to stick to a sushi mat before rolling it up, getting distracted and knocking the roll off the counter.

It will probably cost me three times more in supplies and 100 times more in frustration to attempt this on my own. Plus, when I’m hungry I get cranky, meaning there’s a good chance sharp chopsticks should be nowhere in the vicinity.

However, that tantrum might be worth paying to see.

Like the blog? Buy the Book.

Aside from major medical procedures and house construction, what are the things you never hesitate to pay someone to do?

29 responses to “Where Do I Send the Check?

  1. Landscaping. Not only do I find no joy in doing it, the animals eat the bulbs I plant and if was in charge of installing an outdoor light, it would someone tell planes my driveway was a landing strip. I can do car work, house stuff, construction – I’ve even cut my own hair. But landscaping is the bane of my existence.

    • Here’s the deal: I’ll do your landscaping. You do construction on my house. This is in part because I love working outside, but also because I want to see you do construction. 😉

  2. You cat always makes me smile.

  3. people constantly tease me because I still go to my dad every year to help with taxes, but we totally buy him a case of beer so I mean, it’s a fantastic deal all around.

  4. Landscaping and any heavy yardwork. I hate it. And YES to all of the items on your list!

  5. Making sushi is like growing your own vegetables.
    Four stars for your list

  6. Cleaning my house. Yes, of course I clean my house every day because I’m compulsive like that. But I also pay someone to do the heavy scrubbing with mops and buckets of water and bleach. I ain’t got time for that. And I don’t want to fight with my spouse on the weekends over who did what.

  7. Other than sushi (which I don’t really eat) I pay for all the same things for the same reasons. Although, I have come awfully close to cutting my own hair – I really don’t like salons.

  8. Oh man, the unanswered email writing pitches. Yeah. So very yeah.

    Cleaning my house. I will and do gladly pay someone to do that every other week. Could I scrub my own toilets and kitchen floor? Yep. Will I? Hell no.

  9. I would love to be able to afford a cleaning lady! I absolutely hate cleaning!

  10. kelleysbreakroom

    I’m with you on all of these! Until my aunt was 88, she cut her own hair! And it looked good! And that’s a lot of exclamation points!

  11. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me why your six year old self put the hair in the envelopes and hid them in the couch…I really couldn’t stop laughing, it was such a Ramona Quimby move (dating myself, there) and my curiousity won’t let me move on…

  12. Sometimes stereotypes are around for a GOOD reason.

  13. I hear ya! while I do love to make my own sushi (and pretty much any other complicated food – it’s just fun for me!), I do see the extreme value in paying someone to do something you do not have the skill/time/want to do…

    cutting your hair and that of your dog? I love it. we always had dachshunds, smooth short haired, so the only hair I cut was mine and that of Marie Osmond (the doll, as if I had to clarify).

    Abby, this is timely. My post tomorrow (or… soon, if I cannot get the photos edited tonight) is about hiring an assistant. How badly I want to hire an assistant, that is.

  14. I do pay for car repairs, hair cuts and major household repairs/renovations. Everything else I make the kids do. 🙂

  15. I also pay someone to do all of these things you mentioned, along with cleaning my house, bathing my dogs and sleeping with my husband. Wait, nope. I have to do that last one myself, as he “didn’t like the caliber of women I picked last time.” That guy clearly doesn’t appreciate a buy one get one free sale.

    I also pay for my hair to be professionally colored, and won’t do it myself. The last thing we need is this girl mixing ingredients over a bunson burner in the bathroom. (That’s how you mix hair color, right?)

    I do have some very important questions for you about the hair clippings in the envelope. What kind of envelopes were they? If they were just regular white envelopes, then I find your behavior completely normal. But if they were manilla envelopes filled with hair? That’s just creepy.

    • Who doesn’t like a bargain? As for the hair thing, I totally used to pay to have it done, as it is quite different than box color. But it’s at the point now that I’ve given up on my hair and save the money for other things I enjoy more–like food and shelter and probably more food.

      • I prefer to eat my feelings, and my money, and pretty much anything else. Bottom line: I prefer to eat.

        However, I recently switched it up and went from really blonde, to really dark brown/red tint. It’s taken almost a year because I’ve always been blonde and apparently you can’t just switch from one color to the other, as it will fry your hair. (Whatevs.)

        So I’m finally there and I definitely have to have a professional do it. We both know I would be bald if I was responsible for coloring my own hair. Or for cutting it.

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  17. I made my own sushi once and actually enjoyed it. But you’re right – when you factor in the time and supplies, it’s much easier and cheaper to just get it from a pro!

    PS. I responded to your question about building up your derriere in my latest blog post!

  18. Thankfully, there isn’t a lot I have to pay anyone to do. My husband can fix just about everything under the sun! I’d be so much poorer than I already am if I didn’t have him.

    However, someday when I can afford it, I will not hesitate to pay someone to clean my house. It’s something I just hate to do.

  19. Ever since the fateful day I removed and then tried to replace my own molding around the bedroom door, nixed the miter box, and nailed everything on upside down and backwards, I decided I can pay anyone to do anything.

  20. I have never understood the making sushi at home, especially when dealing with raw fish. Seems time consuming and potentially dangerous. I’m with you too on the whole computer and taxes thing. Just a very bad idea to screw up these two things. I’d be lost without my computer and my husband would have a meltdown if our taxes went south. It just stresses me out thinking about it.

  21. Groom the poodle ~ worth the money every time

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