There are many serious decisions in life that have to be made—what job to take, house to buy or brand of hummus to commit to—but those are few and far between. It’s the day-to-day decisions that rattle my brain—like if I should tell a co-worker she has spinach in her teeth or assume that she’s just showing off.
That decision is usually based on my level of familiarity with said co-worker. If she’s a friend, I’m pointing it out. If she’s the one who ordered cheaper plastic spoons for the kitchen, I stay quiet and debate whether to file a complaint for emotional distress or just quit and go home.
I have standards.
I also have other inconsequential dilemmas:
Once in awhile I like to buy a $1 scratch-off lottery ticket as part of my “5 Year Plan” for independent wealth and success. However, it’s very important to pick the right one. Do I want “Crazy 8s” that promises I can win up to five times or do I want “Cash for Life” that has a maximum jackpot of $5,000 compared to only $4,000 for the others?
Even though I would be thrilled to win $5 on either, I feel this decision could greatly impact my future and ponder my options again. It’s quite a dilemma.
Do I want my dishes to smell like Passionfruit Burst, Antibacterial Action or Gentle Summer Rain? Wouldn’t a summer rain smell kind of like worms? These are the questions I ask while I stand in the aisle and pick out my dish soap.
Then there are times when I debate whether or not I need to change the toilet paper roll. As I sit there on the can, I often rationalize that there are probably enough sheets to get me through a couple more bladder evacuations, but that there’s also a new roll right behind me on the back of the toilet.
So do I go ahead and proactively switch out the roll and balance the old one on top of the new or wait until the old roll completely runs out? (One thing never in question is that it unrolls from the top, not the bottom.
What about multiple sightings? It seems whenever I run into someone at the grocery store, in the hallway, etc., I will continue to run into that person multiple times in the following minutes. The first time around, a “hello” is normal, but what about subsequent run-ins? If I just talked to you in produce, do I have to talk to you again in the cereal aisle?
And finally, do I keep $50 worth of snarky Knock Knock stuff for myself or offer it to my readers? Hilarious Post-Its? Journals? Books? Cards? I would totally hoard it, but in the interest of increasing my positive karma, instead I will offer it up.
Why?
Because Knock Knock knows our lives are composed of stupid decisions, which is why I’ve been a fan of theirs for years. Plus, it’s cool stuff and I always wish I could give something back to you guys because I kind of like (most of) you.
This includes everything from the “Inconsequential Dilemma” book that inspired this post to the WTF Nifty Notes, How to Traumatize Your Children book and the Passive-Aggressive Memo Pad.
So if you want $50 worth of their product—winner’s choice—here’s how to enter*:
1.You don’t have to jump through hoops or sing my praises from the mountain tops (although hoop jumping and sharing this post is not discouraged.) Just leave a comment about your own “inconsequential dilemma” below.
P.S. I will also throw in a copy of my book if the winner doesn’t have it already—and you know who you are. Yes…you.
*Entries must be in by 11:59 pm on July 19. I’ll pick the winner at random using Random.org and will announce the winner thereafter. Giveaway is open and offered only to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States, including the District of Columbia.
So spill it. What’s your inconsequential dilemma?
Abby Has Issues 
Do they have “How to traumatize OTHER people’s children?”
I think it would apply. Leave your own dilemma to enter and you can buy it for yourself 😉
My daily dilemma . . . which avocado to cut into. Which one is at the perfect stage of ripeness? I mean this decision can make or break lunch. Also, which color of the same Target tank top to wear . . . blue or grey . . . red or maroon . . . the one with the holes or the one without???? I have a hard life.
You know how I feel about my avocados, so I feel your pain.
I put the toilet paper roll on the back of the toilet when the one is getting low, and then switch it only when its completely done. It’s a good system.
Anyway, my dilemma – can I eat enough of XXX item (usually english muffins) before they go bad or should I put half in the freezer? I don’t like freezing things if I don’t have to, but I don’t want them to go stale. And if they’re on sale buy one get buy one free, I obviously have to buy two. And obvously can’t eat them all. BUT HOW MANY TO FREEZE?! ARRGHHHH!
YES!!! That is totally something that I do. I feel pressure to eat ALL the things before they go bad, even if they don’t sound as good as something else. The drama is palpable, my friend.
To shave or not to shave before I go to my “annual” exam in an hour….
My inconsequential dilemma is this. Do I give my daughter the oj from the new container of really good oj or give her the remaining juice in the older carton that may or may not have someone else’s cooties floating in it? Nevermind, that dilemma just solved itself!
Parent of the Year!
Sometimes I get bored, because who doesn’t? There are always a few things I can do with my time to entertain myself, but how do I choose? Do I want to read a book, or watch a movie? Do I want to play Lord of the Rings Online, or Fallout3? What if I pick the ‘read a book’ option, and I can’t really get into it and then feel bad? WHAT IF I MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE!?!!
I think I might want an iced coffee later, but right now I just don’t know. Do I make a cup now and stick it in the freezer, just in case? Or do I just suck it up and go without later on when I’m angry with myself for being too lazy to have pre-made and frozen a cup of coffee when I had the time? Will that put me in a bad mood? I mean, it probably will. Because, what doesn’t? But will I already be in a bad mood because of something else? And will it really matter at that point? I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BECAUSE WHAT IF I AM HAPPY LATER???
We should be friends. And for the record, read a book and ditch the coffee. You might benefit from decaf 😉
Honestly? I do drink decaf. I had to give up caffeine, but I simply couldn’t give up coffee altogether. I love the taste of it so much.
Plus I had already bought a Mr Coffee Keurig machine, and I wasn’t about to feel like I wasted all that money for nothing.
Good deal! I had to give up coffee about a decade ago and it was the best thing that I did. Drink up!
Ultra dilemma in my daily life: is the trash bag full enough to go out or can I fit more in there before it breaks as I take it out? Solution: put as much as I want in there and have husband take it out when he gets home.
YES! I have the same trash dilemma except I can’t rely on anyone else to take it out. I keep waiting, but the cat hasn’t picked up that skill yet. Slacker.
Inconsequential dilemma: Will I have enough dog food left to feed Dog 1 and Dog 2 for one more day, thus delaying my need to run to the pet store?
Sub-dilemma: If I run out due to miscalculation, will Dog 1 (yorkie) be harmed by eating “mature adult large-breed” food or Dog 2 (lab/shepherd) be harmed by eating “toy/miniature” food for a day or so until I can get my lazy tail to the pet store?
The odd time I get a lottery ticket, I always go for Bingo. I try to scratch slowly to prolong the suspense, and I somehow feel this makes it more lucky (not actually proven with any significant winnings).
Here are mine:
1) Every time the phone rings. Do I screen (yes)? Pick up? Ignore? Wait for a voice mail? (Usually) Hate phones.
2) Wear the pants, or wash them already? Can they go for another run before they permanently stick to my body?
3) Lately: Cover letters. They are the death of me. Do I keep them dry and professional, or add some personality and good writing to make them stand out but risk sounding too casual? Kill me.
On the drive to/from work, do I listen to the radio or a CD? If I listen to the CD I’m guaranteed to hear my favorite song. However, it seems special-er if it comes on the radio, so if I’ve got the CD in I will miss the very same song playing on the radio.
I’m a *tad* OCD so this decision is a daily dilemma and one I fret over no matter which option I go with.
The best thing EVER is when you get in your car and your favorite song comes on two seconds later, meaning you can listen to the whole thing beginning to end. It’s the little things…
My first world problem: If the girls go swimming in the afternoon, does it count as a bath?
Inconsequential dilemma: To clean the cat box or ignore it another day and just add some more litter to the pile of crap growing and hope she doesn’t decide that she’s tired of my neglect and poops on my pillow. These are the things I ponder in life.
I think anyone who cleans out a crap box has pondered that, too. Personally, I wonder why she hasn’t started using the freaking toilet yet. Then she wouldn’t have to cover a thing…
My Inconsequential Dilemma #1: Do I floss before brushing OR brush before flossing OR brush before mouthwash OR rinse before flossing and brushing? Whew! It’s time for another snack.
Floss, mouthwash, brush. And huge bonus points for having such stellar oral care.
My dilemma: When my son was very young, I accidentally set his bathrobe on fire (just a little) while showing him how dangerous it could be to play with a lighter. Another time, I poured the remainder of a half gallon of milk over his head after I warned him not to “accidentally” spill his milk for the third time at one meal or he would be sorry. My question is, do you think his brother & sister felt left out?
Do I put on a bra and go to the store for chocolate ice cream, or just stay home and make do with chocolate milk….bra-less? 😉
My dilemma every morning for the past six months: Should I hit the snooze? Should I hit the snooze again? If I skip clipping my toenails before I get in the shower can I hit the snooze again? If I don’t REALLY need to shave can I hit the snooze one more time? How many snoozes am I allowed before the alarm clock gives up?
I do the snooze every morning as well, except the time when the alarm and snooze goes off is filled with me trying to do math and see how long I can stay in bed instead of sleeping for the extra 9 minutes.
My daily dilemma: Do I call in sick or go to work? Most days option 1 is the better choice, but by then I am dressed and ready to go. It never fails – I get to work and decide I should have gone with option 1. Daytime television, ya’ll!
My dilemma (won’t attempt to write the other word, don’t feel like reminding my spell checker how little I do know):
I am sitting in a public area, because I lost my wifi signal from my boat. I have my laptop, my phone, my laptop case, and my personalized hand crafter work station loaded with anything I could find in this room, but I now need to run to the bathroom.
What do I do? I’m alone in here, and there’s a handful of locals speaking Spanish, heard “peche” a lot, I think they’re talking about me. Do I run to the bathroom hoping nobody will take my stuff? What if somebody walks into my shaking work station and accidentally knocks everything on the ground? Or do I wait for a familiar face to walk in, and ask him/her to watch over my stuff? Take everything I own to the bathroom? They’ll see me, and know it’s an act of no faith in them, and accuse me of even more horrible things I couldn’t understand. But what if I wait a really long time? I’ve already been waiting near an hour. Will I give myself some kind of fatal disease?
You see my problem? You see what I go through so I can read your blog and comment on it? That my friend is pure love.
Knock-knock!
This is why I love you, you weirdo.
back at chy’a.
You do understand that those products were specifically made for ME, right? I mean, I’m not sure how you could even think about giving them to anyone else. Ok, fine. I guess you have to be all FAIR and stuff. Whatever.
My dilemna . . . do I sit here and keep eating these delicious wheat thins, using the excuse that my yogurt from lunch was totally chunky and watery, mandatiing my trashing it and making me still hungry, or do I put these damn things away and save my fat ass growing any fatter. Decisions, decisions.
Pshw. It’s never a matter of taking something away. It’s always a matter of two things–Triscuits or Wheat Thins? for example. Anyway, aren’t their products hilarious? I’ve loved the company forever simply because I need more WTF post-its in my life.
My dilemma? When the cat wakes me from a sound sleep making those pre-vomit noises, do I ignore it, fully commit to the problem by turning on a light or do I just grab for him in the dark and launch him from the bed. Turning on the light means I’ve committed to waking up. If I launch him from the bed, there goes the incentive I’ve been needing to change the sheets. Also, he may find wayward things on the floor to vomit upon. On the other hand, if I ignore him and he makes it to doorway of my bedroom, I’m likely to step in it barefoot in the morning, resulting in me involuntarily executing the one footed crane position from the Karate Kid. What to do, what to do.
I am literally laughing out loud (but will refrain from actually writing “LOL.”)
If I am away on ” change the bed sheets day” do I change them before I go thus only sleeping on them 4 or 5 nights instead of 7 or wait until I come home thus sleeping on them an extra 2 or 3 nights. Or I could change them midweek but that would really screw up my system totally.
Oh and do love your book…the first one which I just discovered as I did this blog. I’m sure I will love the second one as well.
First of all, thank you so much for reading the book! Second, you change your sheets every week. That elevates you above most of the rest of the world. Go crazy, my laundering friend!
Once, while I was typing some inanity, both a jumping spider and an anole were on the window sill. Who do I watch? The jumping spider could jump out of sight in a flash and I may never notice. The anole is fast too, but not that fast. And the anole does this neato mating thing with his gizzard, making it flag out to show the bright red sign. The anole could eat the jumping spider and solve the dilemma in an instant, but that would be far too easy.
Should I start spelling the abbreviated version of my name as “Jaqui” or the boring and predictable “Jackie”? 😦
Every morning in front of my Keurig… fair trade select? French vanilla? Breakfast blend? Such a decision at 7 am! Would my dilemma be easier if I just did a blind grab bag? Or would I just have trouble choosing the right size bag…
To vacuum now or wait until the Chihuahua goes missing in the rising fur underfoot. Oh, what the hell. She’ll bark before I step on her. I’m a total ho for free stuff. 😉
My dilemma: do I want “French Vanilla” window curtains or just “Vanilla”? Will one look like a dingy white? The other too beige? It’s all in the details, ya know!
My dilemma when I end up eating late at night is do I do the dishes before I go to bed, so the chance of attracting ants is diminished, or wait until morning, so the chance of breaking a dish is lessened.
Do I tell CJ that the two framed photos I hung in the living room today look like cat’s eyes because they are perfectly placed over our lamp which has wire legs that angle outward to look like a cat’s mouth and, See? See? See how the lamp shade looks like a cat’s nose? Oh, I just can’t decide.
can I get through the day at work w/o biting someone’s head off? likelihood is low so the really dilemma is do I even bother to try? or as least put up pretense to myself that I will try? but then on to the more important things like is there enough dog food to get through the day and next morning or do I need to panic now? as if they wouldn’t just be as happy w/ pb&J on bread, yogurt, fruit and ice cream. as if. oh yes and then what kind of ice cream should I have? the list goes on and on…..
How many back-ups of my photos do I need? There’s the copy on my phone, on my computer, in Flickr…how many copies to keep and which ones to delete to free up space?
Should I eat the piece of fruit I brought with lunch before I eat my lunch or after? Should I just eat it before and have fruity gum after lunch to satisfy my sweet-taste craving? Which of the 4 shows I missed the other night should I catch up on first – The Fosters? Switched at Birth? Major Crimes? Why does my taste in television suck so much?
Do I use an old belt as a dog leash for my pup today or cancel my vet appt this morning? Evidently the leash is in the boys car which is not here. Can I find an old piece of rope so I don’t look like a dog abuser? Or do I just take a chance with a 4.5 month old pup and not leash her?
(sighs) Someday I am going to be a super-organized person that has spares of everything. Nah…that’s never going to happen. Old belt it is!
y’our are a thinker !
If I sit down when I open my closet, that’s it. I’m going to have a really hard time with picking what the hell I’m gonna wear. I have to open the closet and keep moving. I’m a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl too, so it’s not like I’m trying to make a really important fashion decision. Sometimes I am tired, and the daily decision of what to wear is too much!
Inconsequential? That’s hard. Do I send this tweet now or wait until later? No, that’s no good. That’s totally consequential – the timing has to be right PLUS it has to be a good tweet or there’s crickets. Do I write this “to-do” in my phone or on a scrap piece of paper? Either place gives me no less of a chance that I’ll forget about the “to-do” and come across it four days later AFTER it should have already been done. So maybe that’s a good one because either way the outcome is probably the same.
You had me at Passionfruit Burst hand soap…..ahhh, how you rich author people live.
Please. When it comes to making money from my blog, I’m actually in debt. Thank god I didn’t quit my day job, eh? Baby needs new dish soap!
I want that soap
Do I rinse first then recycle?
I think Fresh Summer Rain would absolutely smell like earth worms, and I believe the toilet paper roll should always come from the top. To do it any other way would be wrong.
My current dilemma: should I continue to type this comment and allow my cereal to get soggy or should I eat said cereal and finish the comment later? I shall take a bite and type, a bite and type, a bite and type. How’s that for Intuitive Eating?! Hold on, I nee another bite.
Do I empty the dishwasher or just hand-wash dishes for the next 4 days until either myself or my husband gives in?
True story: I’ve never used my dishwasher and don’t even know if it works. I just do my dishes after I’m done 😉
I just went to Whole Foods and spent a good two minutes deciding if I should buy pre cut strawberries and save 5 seconds of my life or by them au natural. I went the latter route, and I really want some fruit on my yogurt but am too lazy to wash and cut! It’s a hard life…
When filling out response cards to weddings, I always get a tiny wave of panic about making the wrong decision over chicken or beef if the dish preparation is undisclosed How will I know what I’ll be hankering for in a month? And if it’s filet, then of course I want the beef but if it’s roast beef or beef wellington or something of that sort, I may want the chicken. But how is the chicken prepared? Is the chicken a chicken breast? Or does it have the little bone leg hanging off? If it’s the bony chicken, no thanks, I’ll take the beef…even if it’s middle of the road beef with a tasteless sauce smeared on it. The reason this is inconsequential is that 99% of the time I’m 3 sheets to the wind before the cocktail hour is even over and I couldn’t care less if I was served a ham sandwich for dinner.
I agree that the TP must unroll from the top. My dilemma is when someone else changes the roll (it actually happens once or twice a year) and hangs it bottom rolling. Do I re-hang it properly and look petty and controlling, and likely discourage their future participation? Will they even notice? Or do I bite the bullet and live with incorrect TP? And what does it say about me that I even think about this kind of thing? And, oh geez, I’ve been spelling dilemma incorrectly forever. I always thought I was one of those weirdy words spelled with “MN.”
Be the change you want to see in the world–and start with changing the toilet paper roll so it unrolls from the top.
My current dilemma is whether to go back to bed for an hour or get up and be productive…
💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤
Considering I’ve been up since 5am, my vote is to go back to bed. THAT sounds productive to me!
My 2year old has been waking up at 6am for the past month. I look like a zombie. That is all.
Mine is when I bathe at say 3 or 4 in the afternoon, do I actually need a bath the next morning? I mean it hasn’t been 24 hours yet, but if I don’t bathe the next morning, then it’ll be more than 24 hours til I bathe that night.
Shower or ponytail? I would always prefer the shower, but the ponytail is so much faster…
Or you could cut your hair, although I wouldn’t recommend it because then you are denied the ponytail option. I miss the ponytail option…
My dilemma…to shower now or just say screw it and stay on FB! I am getting a little ripe with this heat, but who is actually going to smell me. Stuck in with the kids and they don’t seem to mind so FB it is! Ha!
Do I tell my new neighbors their dog keeps pooping in my yard or do I keep poop scooping with a shovel and throw their poo in front of their doorstep? Maybe I should put the poo in a paper bag and light it on fire…decisions, decisions.
Totally do the turd flinging. That’s what I do…hypothetically speaking, of course.
Mine is what to do with a windfall. Whether it’s one of money, or of unexpected free time, I become positively vapor-locked when having to make a decision! What if I decide to get a pedicure with my time? Will I regret not having run to the mall to browse the sale at Lord & Taylor? And what if I do choose to shop… would I have been better of taking a nap? Should I buy a handbag or a new pair of capris with that extra cash? Or upgrade my cell phone? Most of the time I end up NOT deciding to do anything because I fear I will be disappointed and unfulfilled if I end up choosing ‘wrong.”
I know, I’m a freak.
I don’t think you’re a freak for indecision, as obviously I am prone to that as well and too much time or too many options freak me out. However, you might be a freak because you experience a windfall of money. I don’t know what you’re talking about with that one…;)
my dilemma is that I am going home to Michigan for the next 5 days and I have tons of family and friends and won’t have enough time to see all of them, so have to figure out which ones make the cut 😦
I’m in Michigan!!! And considering it’s 96 degrees, I would choose the relatives that have central air or a pool. Safe travels!
With a newborn, mine is should I pump or breastfeed for this feeding, as baby boy is always hungry when I decide to eat.
Do I wake the dog to take him out to pee before I go to bed even though I’m really tired and don’t want to go outside now or wait until the middle of the night when he wakes me that he has to go?
My dilemma is: Do I have to wash my hair or can I just take a quick shower without having to take it down from my hair clip bun thingy, wash, rinse , brush, and re-do hair clip bun thingy.
The grocery store thing IS awkward! Along those lines, my perpetual dilemma is when I’ve already talked to someone on the phone minutes ago must I really answer the “how are you doing” question again? I’ve tried to dodge it or make fun of it and I am usually met with some degree of confusion from the other party as to my unwillingness to play nice seems to violate their senses. I have found when I just sigh and say “I’m fine” (for the third time in an hour) the conversation just flows better, but its hard not to laugh at the rote q&a to which no one else ever seems to find as Iudicrous as I do, so often I ignore the question and say “what’s up” so my caller is forced to talk and I can move on from the awkward pause of me figuring out how to answer.
My dilemma is, do I throw the poopy diaper in the trash can that has just been emptied and have it stink up the house for the whole day, or do I wrap it in its own bag and make the long walk to the trash outside?
All the kids are still sleeping and it is delightful! My dilemma…I am doing the dance of how long to let them sleep while still allowing us enough time to get ready for the things we have to do later. I have to say, enjoying the silence is winning!
My inconsequential dilemma – is that hole (or stain or random child mess) on my shirt/comfy clothes really that bad? Do I have to change before running errands or can I just be a slob for the 5 minutes it takes to go get milk? 🙂
My inconsequential dilemma has to do with the bathroom. I have to pee, but not all that badly. Yet. So do I sit here and hold it and not head for the bathroom, taking a chance that by the time I DO have to pee badly enough, someone else (usually one of my male co-workers) will go in and foul the bathroom with such a horrific stench that cows, polecats and decaying animals get offended? Not an end of the world problem, but it’s mine. And I love snark, so Knock Knock is right up my alley.
My inconsequential dilemma is this:
Do I put off the house work until hubs is on his way home (he has an hours drive) or do I take care of it when I get out of bed and eliminate the neck cramp from doing everything while I talk to him on his drive home? Or do I come up with a reason to let him go, thereby admitting I have done nothing all day? It’s silly but it either gets done after he calls or right after he leaves ( at 5am). The rest of the time I play referee for two kids and two dogs.
What should I do with the money if I win the lottery?
What pen do I use on these work papers I NEED my boss to sign but he keeps moving them around on his desk. I feel like blue doesn’t relay the sense of urgency that I need and black doesn’t stand out enough on the typed pages. But I don’t want to use red and look like a b*tch. Do you think crayon would be ok? I have plenty of those in my purse.
I spend entirely too much time deciding how to color code my documents. You are not alone, my friend. You are not alone…