What A Snooze

There are some ridiculous inventions out theretoaster, anyone?—but someone somewhere had the guts to pitch and promote their new product. And while I’m glad that some of these items exist, I have to imagine the initial sell was bit challenging for them at times.

For instance, as much as I love hitting the snooze button—possibly multiple times—it’s an invention that doesn’t make rational sense.

(Inventor walks in late to the meeting, looking sheepish and rather disheveled)

Inventor: Sorry I’m late, but I have a really great excuse! I, uh, accidentally slept through my alarm. I mean, I heard it, but then I slapped the top of the alarm and accidentally shut it off. But that’s when I got this idea!

Executive: Excuse me, what? You overslept and that’s your excuse?

I: Well, yes, because it led me to this invention. You see, sometimes you want to give the pretense of getting up at a certain time without actually getting up at a certain time. With this “snooze” button I’m proposing, you can hear the alarm, turn it off and then hear the alarm 9 to10 minutes later, depending on your preference.

E: So let me get this straight. We have this device called an alarm that was invented so you can choose when you want to wake up and it will wake you up at that moment.

What you’re proposing is a “snooze” button so that when the alarm wakes you up—doing precisely what it’s supposed to do so that you can get somewhere on time, like a meeting—you can ignore the alarm and fall back to sleep for an insignificant amount of time, only to get up a few minutes later.

I: Exactly! I realize it sounds a bit strange, but hitting that “snooze” button delays the actual “getting up” part of the process. And let’s be honest. Getting out of bed in the morning is often the worst part of the day. Plus, this “snooze” gives one the illusion of actually being more rested.

E: So in essence, this “snooze” button allows you just enough time to toss and turn for 8-1/2 minutes and sleep for the remaining 30 seconds before starting the cycle all over again. It sounds like you relive the same agonizing moment of your morning over and over until you actually get out of bed.

I: That’s kind of a negative spin, don’t you think? Maybe you need some more sleep? Ha! Oh, sorry. I’ll give you some time to discuss my idea.

E: Right. How about you come back at 11:00?

I: Great. I’ll see you at 11. Or 11:09…11:18 at the latest.

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Snooze button—friend or foe?

33 responses to “What A Snooze

  1. I love my snooze button. I can and have slept in 9 minute intervals for an hour.

  2. As someone who quite literally just took advantage of the Snooze, the highest of fives for ridiculous (or accidental) inventions. VIVA LA SEVEN EXTRA MINUTES!

  3. I have a horrible addiction to my snooze button and I hate it. I wish I could just get the hell up when I need to.

  4. How true! It just prolongs the agony,,,

  5. It definitely doesn’t make sense!!!!! When I worked outside of the home (AKA: had to be seen in public), I smacked that snooze 3-4 times every morning. I was always running late and frazzled, and my husband suggested I just set my alarm five minutes later. Unfortunately, the snooze had a mental hold on me and the adjusted alarm time didn’t make a different. I NEED THE SNOOZE, MAN.

  6. My favorite part of hitting the snooze button 3 (possibly 5) times every single morning…is hearing my husband’s very annoyed sigh that follows and I drift back into a slumber for 8 minutes – & repeat. Best invention ever. Thanks for the Monday morning laugh!

  7. I never thought of it that way, but it IS just forcing you to relive the worst part! Still, it does allow me to procrastinate, who I do enjoy…

  8. Ha! I’d never thought about how illogical the snooze function is on an alarm. I used to love the snooze button when I was in high school, but what I probably could have used it just more sleep in general.

  9. my alarm is a dachshund, and the snooze is her jumping on my face every nine SECONDS. at 5:am.

  10. LOL! That was well said. I actually don’t even have an alarm clock anymore. Somehow I just manage to wake up on time. I believe that snooze button brought about it’s own demise, because I went to whack it one morning and it flew across the room.

  11. also? the only kind of math I can do in a half asleep state is counts by nine.

  12. I loved my snooze button. Until I got a dog, and everything changed. Nothing like 40 pounds of herding dog on your face to make you get up. This post makes me nostalgic. I miss the luxury of the snooze. I really do.

    • Bahaha, Such a true statement. My dog is 65 pounds. As soon as my alarm goes off (the first time) she is jumping off, on, back off the bed repetitively…by the 3rd time I hit the snooze & my husband gives his 3rd “just get the hell outta bed” sigh – she starts making this squeaky noise over and over that resembles a dolphin. One of these days…I will put my dog and my husband out of their misery & stop snoozing. Until then………..I love my 9 minutes.

      • My old cat at my mom’s house used to bang her head on my bedroom door until I got up. Then when I got up she would glance at me, shrug and walk away.

  13. Everyday I press my snooze button at least three times and wonder why I do not just set my alarm later, and yet I do not change my maladaptive waking ways.

  14. In our home I am the snooze button. There isn’t an alarm built that can get my wife out of bed. The process usually involves me picking her up, throwing her over my shoulder & carrying her to the kitchen counter to inhale the coffee aroma as it’s being brewed.

  15. The snooze on my iphone is too hard for me to try to figure out super early in the morning, so I have two separate alarms set ten min apart. I like what I like.

  16. The snooze button is a prerequisite for starting each day…. my husband disagrees vehemently… but then again he’s an insomniac who gets up at 2 already!

  17. I refuse to ‘snooze’ because then I would never get up.

  18. I love my snooze button and the man who invented it. Best extra 9 minutes of my day.

  19. Hilarious and very true! I often set up to 10 consecutive alarms in order to prepare my body mentally and physically for the inevitable wake up.

  20. So true! I hit the snooze button so many times. I can snooze myself into being completely late. When I was a kid and got my first clock radio, I was told that button was called the “Dream bar!” I kind of like that name better.

  21. Gosh, I love my snooze button. I once tried to beat it by placing my alarm clock across the room, but ending up just waking up, springing from bed, slapping the snooze button and then launching myself back into bed for another 8 minutes. Was super funny and a mini workout all in one!

  22. Growing up my sister and I shared a room. I, being the bossy older sister, would set the alarm and then snooze it for an hour every morning. A few months ago, my sister and I were sharing a hotel room on a trip and she was like, “Remember when you used to set the alarm way earlier than you needed to, and then you’d hit snooze and I hated you for like all of our teenage years?”

    “Um, what do you mean USED to??”

    hahaha she was appalled!

  23. I love and hate the snooze all at the same time, especially since I’m only prolonging the inevitable and let’s face it, those nine minutes aren’t suddenly making me feel refreshed. Yet I hit the damn button almost every day because it’s nine more minutes of denial.

  24. We now snooze button the baby which is putting a paci in her mouth. This can buy us up to another hour, so it’s way more helpful than the clock ones.

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