Remember when I said that I Just Want to be Alone?
Well, I have confession. At times, I don’t want to be alone. Sometimes I need the support of other people who understand where I’m coming from, that remind me that even if I’m physically sitting alone, I never have to feel lonely.
Plus, I just like to laugh.
Lucky for me I’ve somehow convinced an elite group of successful, talented and hilarious women to let me call them my friends. And lucky for you, I’ve also convinced this group of successful, talented and hilarious women to let me ask them a few random questions to convince you to go buy the book.
Q: What is your biggest daily accomplishment?
I wasn’t aware I was required to accomplish things on the daily. – Nicole Leigh Shaw, Ninja Mom Blog
Managing to not crack open the bottle before wine o’clock….in some time zone. – Lynn, The Nomad Mom Diary
I go to work rather than deal with the details of my children, so there is that. Yay me! – Magnolia Ripkin
Not killing or divorcing the Hubs. We work together. From home. All day. All alone. Just the two of us. There are days the sound of his breathing irritates me and I know the feeling is mutual. – Jen, People I Want To Punch In The Throat
Q: If you could sing one song on American Idol, what would it be?
Oh, hayle naw. I only sing in the shower and even then I want to gouge out my own ears. –Stephanie, When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
True story: I once brought the house down in a bar in Antigua with my rendition of “Hopelessly Devoted To You” to Hubby on his 40th. I’m kind of a big deal at Sandals. – Christine, Keeper of The Fruit Loops
Q: When was the last time you cried?
Last week when both my girls were hysterical because I packed the wrong lunch in the wrong box. They switched boxes without looking inside and both hated what the other had, so they didn’t eat. Looking forward to puberty. – Stacey, Nurse Mommy Laughs
At “The Lego Movie.” Shut up, you don’t know my life. – Nicole Leigh Shaw, Ninja Mom Blog
I spilled milk the other day. – Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Q: What’s the best gift you’ve given? Received?
Does birth control count as a gift? – Leanne, Ironic Mom
The best gift I ever got was earrings from my husband because they were the super cheap ones, proving that he listened when I said I’d smother him in his sleep if he spent a bunch of money. – Robyn, Hollow Tree Ventures
Q. What do you think about when you are alone in your car?
If the other drivers truly appreciate how incredibly frustrating they are. Also? If I rear-ended the asshole in front of me who doesn’t understand how to use a turn signal, exactly how much trouble would I be in? –Stephanie, When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
I finish arguments with more witty comebacks than I did in real life. – Rebecca, Frugalista Blog
I am rarely ever alone in the car, but when I am I think of nothing until I realize that I am still playing the children’s CD and then I wonder how the hell I didn’t notice for 20 blocks. – Kathy, Kissing the Frog
Q: What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever lost?
My dignity – when delivering my children. –Andrea, The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
I still miss my first husband. He was about 180 pounds of pussy. I like the new one better. – Magnolia Ripkin
It’s not the biggest, but it’s the weirdest. TWICE in my life I have returned from somewhere with only one shoe. – Meredith, From Meredith to Mommy
Q: What was the last thing you splurged on?
An electric grill thing for the kitchen, because my husband does all the cooking and I want it to be as easy and pleasant as possible so I don’t have to start doing it again. – Robyn, Hollow Tree Ventures
I bought myself a Nespresso machine. I said it was for the family. I lied. –Rebecca, Frugalista Blog
An iPad Mini for my son’s birthday. To avoid having a party at Bounce U. -Bethany, I Love Them the Most When They’re Sleeping
Q: What was the last good deed you did?
They were out of carts in Walmart, so I went out to the parking lot and got not only one, nay, I got five and passed them out like they were quarters and I was the Tooth Fairy. Coincidentally, the Tooth Fairy gets a lot of business from the citizens of Walmart. – Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
I offered to pay for a woman’s prescription. Not because I’m a good person, but because she was holding up the line because her card kept getting declined and I needed to get home. – Deva, My Life Suckers
Of course this is just a small sampling, but you can read more about the book and all it’s contributors when you go to Amazon to preorder.
For now, just know that your good deed of the day is coming to this blog and reading my stuff. I appreciate your support and the fact that you encourage my ramblings, overlooking the fact I probably have a dryer sheet in my sleeve or a streak of hummus in my hair.
OK. That’s as mushy as I get.
So go buy the book and enjoy this elite group of successful, talented and hilarious women that let me call them my friends—and reveal their lady parts with you.
Like the blog? Buy the books!
Lucky to call YOU friend! And to your readers, let me say that Abby’s piece will have you howling. I read it while in bed late one night and my husband thought I was having an attack of some sort. LOVE this book! xo
Dryer sheets and hummus both smell divine, so I’m totally willing to overlook that 😉
You ladies are all so funny! Thanks for putting this together, Abby. Snorting and dying to get my hands on a copy of this gem!
Such funny ladies!! Thanks for introducing everyone!
I was already planning to buy the book because honestly, you’re one of my favorite writers her on the webz, and it clinched it when I saw Robyn from HTV is included because I’m pretty sure she’s my spirit animal. I’m really looking forward to getting kicked out of the bedroom for laughing too hard (this actually happened when I read Jenny Lawson’s book ;))
Yay! I can honestly say that this is a funny, funny book. And Robyn is totally someone I stalk, so we can share her as our spirit animal.
I’ve never been a spirit animal before and let me say, stankmeaner, that it makes me indescribably, deliriously happy. Thank you!!!
Robyn wears many hats, stank meaner (which is my new favorite word on the internet), she is a true spirit animal, but that’s really because she boozes it up with the dog so she doesn’t feel like she’s drinking alone. Abby, I’m so glad you are part of this book. You have such a gift and I want to have your children – that is if I didn’t have my uterus yanked out last year.
And there’s that whole, “I’m not a dude or a female who wants to have kids” thing, but details, details…I’m so glad that I got to “know” you as well!
I am SO excited about this, and just so you know, I have a bag packed and sitting by my door so I’ll be ready to meet you for our book signing – because there WILL be a book signing!
I have staged several book signings on my deck during the warm summer months, but the only attendees were small woodland creatures and the mailman from time to time. Sigh…more snacks for me!
Haha. If you can rock the smoking asparagus look, I’m sure you’ll be okay with a dryer sheet and hummus.
Great stuff Ladies. Now I know what has been missing my entire life: A spirit animal. I think I will go with armadillo. Seems fittin’.
Mine would be across between a manic gnat with ADD and a sloth. Or Grumpy Cat.
Aw Hell! I did not know it was permissible to have cross breeds. Now I have to re-think the whole thing. So many possibilities!
OMG, you guys are all too funny! Thanks for making me literally laugh OUT LOUD, at my desk, by myself today.
Plus the bonus…I just said “Grumpy cat is my spirit animal” out loud and burst out laughing again.
Dryer sheets in your sleeve are definitely better than on the floor, where they could be used to thwart criminals sneaking through the house. *SLIP! BAM* They’re scary that way.
This seriously is an elite group of funny women. Is it wrong I used serious and funny in the same sentence?