Lynn from “Nomad Mom Diaries” Has Issues

It’s Friday, so another blogger is sharing their issues!

Today we’re going international to visit Lynn from “Nomad Mom Diaries, a self-proclaimed “smart-ass American raising two prim princesses with her obnoxiously skinny Italian husband in Oxford, England.”

Oh yeah. And she’s also an, “I Just Want to be Alone”co-author with yours truly. But considering this is long distance, I’ll cut the chit-chat and just present Lynn!


Name: Lynn Morrison

Blog: The Nomad Mom Diary

Where, what and why do you write?

I write about my life and when that gets really boring and predictable, I write about fake lives that are having much more interesting adventures. I try and not disparage the husband too much, so when he does something particularly noteworthy I change a few names and slap a fiction label on it, but I’m pretty sure I’m not fooling anyone.

I write on my blog and over at BLUNTmoms and on HuffPo and Mamapedia. And, let’s be honest, also most anywhere else that will take me. As to the why, well that’s simple: I write to keep my head from exploding.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

Where’s my phone? I’d like to say that this is because I use it as my alarm clock, but I think we both know that the real reason is because I am on Facebook before my eyes are even open.

What’s the one “issueor frustration annoying you the most right now?

I’m currently trying to understand why my husband decided to steal the toilet paper out of one bathroom to replenish the other, rather than getting a new roll out of the cupboard. He claims he didn’t want to wake up the dog, but I suspect it was really because he knew I’d be the next one to go in there. I’m not ashamed to say that I used a diaper wipe. No wait, I am ashamed to say that. Ugh, can I start over and we can pretend that all of this is fiction?

Three websites you visit every day.

Oh man, there is no way to answer this without admitting I have a problem. Facebook. Facebook. and Facebook. But listen, if I go down for this, I want you to know that you are partially to blame. If you could just be a little bit less ridiculously clever with your Facebook posts, I just might look at another website.

(Editor’s note: I promise I didn’t pay her to say that. You know that I’m too cheap for that.)

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

I once had, um, “relations” in a former vice president’s house. But not with the vice president because that would be icky.

Favorite place to be?

In my bed with my laptop in my lap. Oh look at that! That’s exactly where I am right now. Squeee!

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

Is it wrong if I say that the only thing I want is for my stuff to be MINE and for others to keep their grubby hands off of it? My side of the bed, my time in the potty, my dinner, my glass of wine, my chocolate chip cookies, my computer, my ipad, the list goes on and on. No, I don’t want to share dammit!

(Editor’s note: No, no it’s not wrong. Especially if we’re talking snacks.)

What TV show would you want to appear on?

I’d like to be on Dora the Explorer so I could smack her upside the head and say, “Listen up you little hussy, the m*&*f*&*ing map just told you where to go 2 minutes ago. It’s two measly stops from any A to any B in your world. Write it on your hand if you have so much trouble.” (Jesus, where did that come from? I clearly have some anger issues to work out.)

Best and worst things I could find in your refrigerator right now?

A half-eaten chocolate bar and most of a stick of butter. Don’t judge; tomorrow is grocery day.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

I wish you’d asked me why everything is better with Nutella. I don’t know, but I’d like someone to ask so that I could have an excuse to go and eat a jug of it and see if I could find some food item that isn’t improved by a 1-inch layer of that hazelnut spreadable goodness.

See? She’s like an international delight for your cyber coffee. Be sure to check out her blog and her links. Who will be featured next week? You’ll just have to wait and see. (Amy Poehler, have your people call my people…that would be me.)

Like the blog? Buy the books!

P.S.  I created a new “Illustrated Issues” tab to the top of my blog where I added some of the most popular images from Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. Enjoy!

10 responses to “Lynn from “Nomad Mom Diaries” Has Issues

  1. If any assistance is required in that Dora the Explorer interrogation, let me know. I’ll get my crowbar.

  2. Funny lady! And dammit I’m allergic to nuts, so the wonder that is Nutella will always elude me.

    • To be honest, I’ve never had it either and it doesn’t sound that great to me. However, I am a big nut butter fan. ANOTHER however is that I can’t eat peanuts, so sunflower seed butter is my go-to.

  3. Pattye Devine

    The only cartoon character that annoys me more than Dora is Calliou. I want to punch that whiney, bald-headed little twerp in the throat.

  4. Wait one minute. You’ve never tried Nutella?!?! I’m mailing you a jar STAT.

  5. I can always count on you for my morning chuckles, Lynn. Great Qs & As.

  6. I liked your Dora answer…I mean Geezus, let’s just get there already! (anyone with small children will agree that if there is a A to B, that is the F(*&^ path you take!)

    Fun and Funny. 🙂

  7. I loved our ice cream man as a child, back when Fudgsicles were a nickle and dinosaurs roamed the earth. 🙂

  8. No judgment here since a lot of my favorite treats start with chocolate and butter.

  9. Love you Lynn! These answers were great. I think I’m going to have to try that “fiction” trick. I’m also dying at your husband and the toilet paper fiasco. I was reading that nodding and thinking “Yup. Mine would totally do that!”

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