This is the time of year when everyone publishes holiday gift guides with super practical items like a $345,000 Celebrity Robot Avatar from Hammacher Schlemmer to a $150, 15-pound loaf of bread from Oprah’s Favorite Things.
Gwenyth Paltrow, actress, queen of condescension and creator of GOOP—“an eminent lifestyle publication”— got in on the act with their own GOOP Gift Guide for 2014. I realize that I might not be the target audience, seeing as I save 20 minutes on my beauty routine by not having a beauty routine, but I am in the publication’s demographic.
I am also an editor and decided to rewrite some of the captions they included in the guide to appeal to the more practical anti-GOOPer out there, like:
Easy Health Angel Juicer
Caption: Absurd, but awesome.
What it should say: Gold jewelry for your kitchen that will cost more green than it will ever juice.
See where I’m going with this?
Actually, I’m going over to In the Powder Room with this, so head on over and read the other nine “New and Improved” Holiday Gift Guide descriptions.
Happy anti-GOOPing and I’ll see you here on Tuesday!
Shopping like a normal person? Buy the books and cool things!
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So I went over and checked out the rest and this just made me all kinds of happy. Thank you.
This anti-GOOPer loves this! 😉
I really hate (almost) all gift guides that raid the blog world this time of year. I checked out the rest on the other site as well. You have a great voice for parody.
Oh Gwyneth..You so funny
Commented over there. No not there… OVER THERE! No NO To the left! Your other left!!!