Dana from “The Kitchen Witch” Has Issues

I know it’s the day after Christmas, but I’m going to assume you need something to distract you from your holiday hangover and that one relative that is still trying to perfectly unwrap a gift so that the paper doesn’t tear and can be reused again next year.

You know who you are.

Lucky for you, I have a fabulous blogger spilling her issues today! Yes, she’s funny. Yes, she can cook. But to be honest, I am always in awe when I read her “serious” writing—both on her blog, The Kitchen Witch, and on The Huffington Post. 


 Plus, this is her blog icon. Even though I don’t mind Rachael Ray,  I still love it. 

I don’t say this often, but I have admired her writing for years and read every damn thing she writes. The way she can command language and weave so much emotion and detail into her words is nothing short of pure talent.

(And no, she didn’t pay me to say that, although at this point I’m not above bribes.)

But enough with the mushy crap. Let’s bring on The Kitchen Witch!


Name: Dana Talusani

Blog: The Kitchen Witch

Where, what and why do you write? 

I write on my laptop, which is on the kitchen table. It’s a totally stupid place to write because writing in the kitchen guarantees constant interruption and demands for snacks. And that’s just the dog! I write about food sometimes, but I also write about my crazy family, my many neuroses, and stories from my childhood. And my dog.

I don’t really know why I write. Probably because I’m a narcissist in constant need of attention and validation.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.  

“Okay, when I look in the mirror this morning, what’s it gonna be? Am I going to look like a 40-something woman or a 90-year old hooker? If I look anything like how I feel, it’s gonna be the hooker.”

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now? 

What is it with the shocking nose hair growth that happens when you turn 40? I’m serious! For 40 years, I went through life blissfully unaware of nose hair, and now I can’t get away from the suckers. They’ve gone renegade! I had to invest in industrial strength clippers, which was kind of a humiliating purchase.

Three websites you visit every day. 

Facebook, MSN and Serious Eats. I have a bit of a Serious Eats addiction.

Editor’s note: As do I, or I did before they changed their site and focus. Now it’s pretty hit or miss for me, to be honest. Moving on…

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume? 

I am the owner of the world’s ugliest feet. I’ve broken my toes so many times that they’re twisted and misshapen like a fresh ginger root.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce? 

National Cheeto Day. Everyone would get National Cheeto Day off from work so they could stay home, eat Cheetos in their pajamas and binge-watch “Sherlock” on Netflix.

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they? 

Burgers, Nachos and BLT’s. The last one is so I don’t die of scurvy.

Me again: No Cheetos? 

The last thing you Googled? 

This is kind of sad. It was “what’s the best no-boil lasagna noodle?”  I am the kind of girl who considers herself entirely too busy to boil a lasagna noodle.

Another note: My mom has always used oven ready lasagna noodles and she made the best lasagna in the world, so no shame on your game, my friend. 

It’s the holidays–best and worst gift you’ve been given? 

The best was last year’s Christmas present–my Bichon Frise puppy, Mozzy. I never, ever thought I’d be a dog person, but now all I want to do is hang around on the floor and make out with my dog all day long. He’s delicious.

The worst was the year my mother bought my older daughter (then 3) the Singing Yo Gabba Gabba Guitar for Christmas. That toy is an abomination. I still have not forgiven my mother, and that was 10 years ago.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

I wish you’d asked me to make us cocktails. Day drinking! Yeah!

Thank you, Dana! Everyone else, go do yourself a favor and go check out her blog,  follow her on Twitter and thank me later (see above: not above bribes and commissions at this point in time.)

And of course, I hope you had a great holiday. If you have any funny stories to share, feel free to vent in the comments below!

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!


P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5  percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

One response to “Dana from “The Kitchen Witch” Has Issues

  1. She’s hilarious!

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