Panty Raid

I see London, I see France. Let’s talk about some underpants.

The people of ShopSmart magazine conducted a telephone survey of 1,008 women 18 and older about intimate apparel. It turns out that women own an average of 21 pairs of underwear, and many say an ill-fitting or ugly pair can ruin their day.


Almost half of women (47 percent) said they feel sexier and more confident wearing a nice or special pair of panties.

(Side note: I hate the word “panties.”)

Anyway, the findings reported included:

  • 27 percent said their mood is affected by wearing an ill-fitting or unattractive pair of undies.
  • 10 percent of women own 35 or more pairs.
  • 65 percent buy neutral colors, with white being the most popular, followed by black and beige.
  • Overall, 46 percent of women say briefs are the style they wear the most often. However, women age 18-34 are more likely to wear the bikini style.
  • 56 percent of women fold their panties; 27 percent just toss them in the drawer.
  • 1 in 10 women admit that they will venture out of the house without underwear.
  • Half of women have complaints about the way their underwear fit, with "wedgies" (30 percent) topping that list, followed by "doesn’t lay flat under clothes" (19 percent) and "not enough coverage in the rear" (14 percent).

I conducted an informal survey with myself and the findings reported included:

  • I own a total of 64 pairs of underwear. This is ridiculous, as I only wear around 20. The others are either too small or uncomfortable in some way, yet I hold onto them like there will be a skivvy shortage any day now. (It’s weird because unlike pants or shirts, you can’t just donate them to Goodwill or something. Throwing them away seems wasteful in some way. Yes, that’s my excuse on this one.)
  • Clean is my favorite color. Fun designs catch my eye, but I don’t really sit around starting at my underwear, so it’s not of the utmost importance.
  • Women actually fold their underwear?
  • While I’m rather hippie-dippy on a lot of things, I don’t leave the house without my hand sanitizer, much less underwear. Who is this one person? Presumably not someone who folds her underwear. 
  • Wedgies are an issue, although I have no shame on fixing the situation in a stealth-like manner. “I would rather fix it and bear the shame than leave it there and bear the pain.” We all need a mantra.
  • “Not enough coverage in the rear?” My grandma once told me she was going to buy me padded panties to give me an actual ass, so lack of coverage is not an issue. Sigh…above or below.


Anything that causes discomfort can ruin your day, so an ill-fitting pair of underwear is no exception. The kicker is that I will usually forget how uncomfortable they were after I wash them and find them in the back of my drawer months later and wonder, “Why don’t I ever wear these anymore?” Then I’m forced to chant my mantra until I get home, throw them in the wash and forget about them again.

Thus, the cycle continues.

Ugly underwear don’t have the power to sway my day, at least they haven’t yet, and I don’t really feel some superpower from wearing something fancy. This could be because I don’t (usually) prance around in my underwear. But it’s true that when I feel good and confident in whatever I have on, it just translates into everything else I do.

(Another side note: Truthfully? If I still looked the way I used to and was given the option, I would be an underwear/sexy costume/runway model in a heartbeat. I love occasionally wearing something that let’s me show my inner sass on the outside and yes, I am an attention whore at times.)

But admit it ladies.

We all have the “special” drawer of underwear that we go to when we want to put a little extra pep in the step, am I right?


Everyone should have a special drawer filled with something small (or medium, or large) you can do for yourself that no one has to know about. Even if no one ever sees the contents of it in action, a little extra color or some leopard print design might be just what you need to get your proverbial panties out of a bunch some days.

And while some days I wish there was a pair of underwear I could slip on that would magically help me find an emotional balance somewhere between a thong and granny panties, so to speak, I know you can’t expect miracles from underwear.

Ask my push-up bra.

How do you rank with the survey results—not mine, but the actual survey?

Do you have a favorite pair? A lucky pair?



17 responses to “Panty Raid

  1. I heard apart of this survey on the radio yesterday! Haha, no I don’t fold my underwear. Seriously? What’s the point?!

    I’m definetley more into comfort than the look. If they’re clear of any weird sayings, or cartoon animals, I’ll be okay. I mostly wear the bikini style cotton ones from Victoria Secret’s “Pink”. They’re cute and comfy 🙂

    Also I have those few pairs that I’ve had forever, but don’t wear anymore and I just haven’t gotten rid of them. I feel weird throwing them in the trash for some reason……..

    I’m prone to get wedgies at work (lots of bending and squatting), so I have to move behind a rack and strategically fix it. Haha! Only I don’t call them wedgies. Ever since I was little, my mom had me calling them “crack attacks”………….I thought it was pretty mainstream until I grew up and no one knew what I was talking about……..

  2. alwayslosingbobbypins

    I’ll admit it! I will sometimes leave the house without a pair of skivvies on. (I also hate the word panties.) Only on the weekends, its just more comfy. For the record, I definitely do not fold. So you were right on that one.

  3. I have two bras that I wear like once or twice a month. All my workout/yoga tops have build in support. But I really dont “need” the support in my daily life as much. I find them kind of binding and annoying. Maybe this is why I dont get asked out too often….
    I only have about twenty pairs of underwear and they are the simple ones you get at costco or walmart. I’m a penny pincher, esp when it come to item people dont even see. I dont do thongs because my ass doesn’t need to be flossed.
    anyhow, my mom always told me to be panty less for at least an hour a day to let it “air out” a bit. It would be so much easier in the summer….

    • I’m a total cheap-ass too. The only real reason I have a fun drawer is because I dated someone who had a VIP card for Victoria’s Secret, I swear. If you like it so much buddy, you wear it all the time. I dig comfort 99% of the time 🙂

  4. I loved this post!

    Interestingly, some womens shelters take lighly used undies (at least here in British Columbia). The volunteer described it to me as…”the bras or underwear you wear once and they are uncomfortable so you never do again?”.

    Now I don’t have to feel guilty keeping unused “wasted” purchases around!

  5. Women are supposed to wear underwear? 😉

    This may drastically change when I have children but for now, all I own are thongs. And yes, even when I work out. Cotton is cotton.

  6. Kath (Eating for Living)

    Funny! Okay, here we go:

    – I’m very sure that ill-fitting and annoying underwear would affect my mood. At least it would give me nervous tics (and those would likely affect my mood).

    – I’m among the 10 % with more than 35 pairs. (Around half of them I never wear.)

    – I have several in white and several in colors (blue, black, grey, etc) so I’m independent from what kind of laundry I’m going to wash next when I’m in need of underwear (which I actually never am because I earn > 35 pairs, as mentioned above). I have several with stripes or little flowers or birdies on them which are the ones I like the most and wear the most often, so they’re likely to be the first to be tattered. Sniff.

    – I have very unsexy, very comfortable cotton underwear. This perfectly fits the style of clothes I wear visibly.

    – I always stuff them into the drawer.


    – (What are “wedgies”?)

    – I don’t own a single bra. My size is half of the smallest size available, so I just wear tops or bustiers underneath my shirts.

    – When I feel uncomfortable or upset I wear my birdie panties. Or the one with the little flowers and leaves.

    • wedgies is when your under shifts so that it sorta becomes a thong, or ass floss. This often utilized as a bullying method on playgrounds. Its really a painful punishment given to those who are too weak to stop it. Its a way to punish the weak without seriously injuring them. In fact its kind compared to other forms of bullying. ..

  7. Hehe.. I love this.
    Where do I fit in? Well..

    – My mood is never affected by an ugly pair, but it is most definitely boosted by a pretty pair 😉
    – I think I have about 20 pairs?
    – All of them except for two (one black and one white) are completely non-neutral. I go for crazy colours and designs. What can I say? Knowing that I am wearing leopard print that no one can see is strangely exciting. Hehe.
    – I wasn’t really aware that there were different styles 😛 It’s either full bum coverage or no bum coverage for me 😮
    – Folding underwear seems like a huge waste of time… but then again, it can take me ages just to figure out what to make for dinner.
    – I have never gone commando. I don’t plan to either.
    – I only complain about the way a pair fits if they are too small. I hate that.

    I sleep in just my underwear and a tank top, so comfy full bum undies are important to me 😛 During the day (as in, when I get dressed to go somewhere) I wear thongs most of the time… because they make me feel sexy. I don’t however like the whole ‘flossing’ feeling (as Eden so beautifully put it) so I always change out of them when I get home. I pretty much live in workout clothes or pyjamas when I don’t have to look respectable.

  8. I am part of the 1 out of 10 that venture without underwear. When I do wear nderwear, it is something really cute. I love fun patterns, lace, etc. Of course, it needs to be comfy. A little too much information? Yes, I believe so! But it is your fault!

  9. Oh Abby. Love this post. I love underwear and poopie posts, because I’m so mature like that.

    Anyway. What the fuck. Who are these woman? Venturing out without underwear?!!!! I thought only Britney Spears did that. Why? If I don’t wear underwear (and I don’t mean bras, because I come up with excuses not to wear them since I’m so freaking flat anyway) I feel naked.

    Also, comfort is the max priority for me. I do NOT get the lure of sexy lingerie, unless you know for a fact you’re gonna get it that night….which I know for a fact I won’t, ever.

    Oh, and I don’t fold my underwear, though I do fold my socks…weird?

  10. This post is great! I almost laughed out loud reading the comments about folding underwear. When my Mom is staying with me, she helps fold my clothes (even though I tell her I don’t need the help…she insists) and ALWAYS folds my underwear. Even the thongs–who the hell needs those things folded? My Mom cannot help herself.

    I don’t usually leave the house without a pair on–unless I’m in a swimsuit for some reason. It’s just not comfortable for me. And I’m all about comfort. My “fancy” undies haven’t seen the light of day in years. Sad but true. My poor husband. Oh well. He bought it! Now he has to live with it 🙂

  11. Cute post. 🙂 I believe that 1/2 of women feel better about themselves w/ nice underwear!

  12. My findings report :

    *I feel unkempt when forced to wear one of the ugly pairs I’ve had since I was 12 (Having an e.d. means I have way too much clothes from that age that I still wear because I cheap as all hell). It’s like I’ve planned first thing in the morning on not trying to get laid later that night.

    *I own 20 pairs but only wear 10.

    *90% are black 2% white 8% annoying patterns that don’t match any of my bras.

    *Thongs are the style I wear the most often because I hate picking wedgies and would rather just have a permanent one.

    *Fold? Drawer? None of my clothes receive such treatment. I throw them all in a plastic bag.

    *In first grade I didn’t wear underwear. Now I do because that would mean I would have to wash my pants more than once a week. It all boils down to laziness.

    *I tend to have problems getting underwear small enough.

    * The last time I went underwear shopping was with my brother. It wasn’t awkward, which is weird.

    *I hate the word panties. I wish my mother and boyfriend felt the same way.

  13. Hahah! Love this. Hilarious.

    I can’t even go commando around the house- ick.

    I also have a bunch of undies that I hold onto, but I’m starting to learn to just throw them in the trash=-if they give me a wedgie or (worse!) are tight- they are binned.

    My absolute fave undies come from (of all places, and I don’t even know how or why I ever went in there to start with) Fredericks of Hollywood. They are simple lace boy shorts and they simply cannot give you a wedgie nor a VPL (which I hate). And their thongs stay put and don’t floss your butt- again no VPL. And I’m devastated to discover yesterday when i met Lynn and AMeena for lunch in century city, that FofH is GONE!! I don’t know where I”ll buy my skivvies from now on. Target had some similar but they did not fit the same. Oh woe is me.

    Confession time: I’m a folder. Will you still be my friend?

  14. Hello! Just found you through the Crazy Chicks Club, and I love your blog! So funny! I just started to blog, so I’m trying to find my way… Love this post, hysterical, and I just subscribed! Thanks ~Pam P.S. I am not a folder… but I do have a little organizer in my drawer! I like to be able to see the pairs I like to wear most… :S

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