On the Road Again

It’s that time of year again.

Uncle June is traveling, my friends.

In case you’re new here, my OCD and general outlook on living prohibit me from enjoying traveling for work. However, it’s a necessary evil that happens every year towards the end of January when I go down to Houston.

It starts with a 6am flight Thursday (3am alarm) and ends Monday night. We put on a party Friday night for 900 people in the industry, 300 people Saturday night and I work the trade show the whole weekend. There are many 14-16 hour days.

Because I’m me, the majority of those 14-16 hours each day are spent stressing about finding vegan food (the one place nearby is closed on the weekends) and avoiding the flu epidemic.

Side note: I’m going to see if I can make the “professional chest bump” a thing instead of a handshake.

Many people say, “It sounds likes fun!” or “At least you’re not stuck at home!” These people are crazy. It’s a work trip, not a vacation, and I prefer to be stuck at home. 


Last year he found himself in a little sombrero. Ole!


Thank you for asking:

1. Travel is not comfortable, and I don’t just mean for vegans with OCD. Something about shoving long legs into an airplane seat, sleeping in a bed with lumpy pillows and trying to avoid touching anything that probably served as the origination for the Ebola virus just doesn’t make it’s way into travel brochures.

2. Travel is also painstakingly long and stressful. You’re on someone else’s schedule and waste days just getting from one place to another, and that’s not counting the time spent when you get where you’re trying to go.

3. When you’re on the road, you can’t get other stuff done—especially with the crappy hotel Internet you have to pay $15/day for. When you get home, you have to rush to do laundry, restock the fridge and get caught up on everything else work-wise that had to be delayed because you were traveling for work.


And then I found Uncle June in Dorothy’s cleavage.

But all of that aside, I’m grateful to have a job and know I’ll be home soon enough.* I won’t be chained to my computer every second though, so you’ll have to survive without my constant tweets and updates.

Stay strong!

I’m always in observation mode, which means I’ll milk at least one or two posts out of this mid- and post-trip (depending on crappy hotel Internet, of course.) If nothing good happens I’ll just use this space to tell you nothing good happened, feed my feelings and then distract you with pictures of the happiest animal in the world or a post I wrote that includes an open letter to my sock.


It’s really a win either way.  

*This statement sponsored by that voice in my head reminding me I need to keep my job and pay my mortgage. Carry on.

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35 responses to “On the Road Again

  1. That model they used is creepy looking. Reminds me of a male with lipstick. Uncle John looks comfy. 😉

    P.S. I wanted to wipe everything down with a Clorox towel too while on our vacation.

  2. I’m sure you could make an open letter to your sock entertaining.

    I used to have a a job that required yearly attendance at a trade show. The first year was great – like a vacation almost. By the second year I had figured out that trade shows were damn hard work and kind of boring.

    As a vegetarian I used to go to Timmy’s for veggie sandwiches a lot while on these trips. I still to this day don’t know what is so hard to understand about the phrase “without butter” but apparently it’s a tricky one.

    • Trade shows can actually be fun, but it’s the 8 million other events surrounding it. And if you think vegetarian is hard, vegan is even more of a mystery to most people. And my sock shall make an appearance at some point in the future. Sexy teasaer, eh? 😉

  3. I’ve never had to travel for work but I am planning a trip for my sister’s wedding at the end of March and I am already pretty stressed about it.

  4. I’m curious as to where it is you go for work that features mannequins in Dorothy costumes. How is THAT not fun?!

    • It can be fun and I included better pictures in the post I linked to above, but it’s exhausting and gets old after five years. However, it’s not a stuffy conference, so that’s always a bonus!

    • Okay, it’s not just that there’s an iffy mannequin in a Dorothy costume, it’s that there’s an entire rack of these costumes behind the model. What is this place that wallows in gingham dirndls.

  5. Uncle June is a randy little one!

  6. I feel your pain. Travel is not my thing either. My cousin once said that it’s akin to going through labor, but then you get a beautiful baby. I don’t want a baby either. Love Uncle June. 🙂

  7. Safe travels! Can’t wait to hear how it goes.

  8. i’m so sorry you need to travel. i agree w/ you that travel in general is not fun and especially if it is work related, involves lots of strangers and noise, and a lack of food. it sounds like hell for you. my sympathy. safe journeys to you and uncle june for as low stress trip as possible and a seemingly quick return.

    ps. sending wishes for a blizzard w/ you “stranded” at home.

  9. I remember that trip from last year! Hope it goes alright this time

  10. Along with everyone else, I am looking forward to the sock dialogue. Should make an interesting thread. Sorry, the english love puns but sorry again. Apologies

  11. I live in Houston, and while it’s been cold (30s) and drizzly for the last several days, it’s supposed to be much nicer towards the end of the week and this weekend. So, could be worse! What trade show is it?

    • I’ve been watching the weather closely! Two years it’s been nice and two years it’s been cold and rainy. Here’s hoping for the latter! It’s the Halloween & Party Expo.

  12. “Many people say, “It sounds likes fun!” or “At least you’re not stuck at home!” These people are crazy. It’s a work trip, not a vacation, and I prefer to be stuck at home.”

    I would feel the SAME way, Abby.

    I loathe traveling. The packing and unpacking. The sleeping in hotels. The crazy schedules. The sick people. And especially the flying. UGH. No thank you.

  13. Just driving by an airport gets my heart racing, palms sweating and breathing becomes painful. And I LOVE to travel! But airports, and their “security” is something I dread so much I preferred waiting my 12-hr layover IN the airport rather than have to deal with 2 taxi rides back and forth to a hotel and then waiting in line to check in, and waiting in another line to clear security knowing I’d have to run to the bathroom before taking my place in both lines.

  14. Where in Houston? We live here and might be able to tell you where fun things are if you have any time for them.

  15. I totally understand about not wanting to travel. Hang in there! Maybe Uncle June can get his busty friend to click her heels together for you.

  16. You may get lucky with the weather: Sun until Monday and mild…but it’s really soggy after the past few weeks.
    Got nothing to help with flu avoidance…some are requesting nodding or a bow in place of hand shake greetings.
    Lots of construction near the convention center so maybe someday some improvement there – now just mud.
    I hear the restaurant upstairs at tree branch level has good food at Discovery Green Park.
    Hope there’s something available close by…Houston isn’t a downtown oriented city

  17. work trips are pure hell.

  18. I hate to travel, I don’t mind being in a different place. I keep dreaming that Captain Kirk will bring me my personnel transporter.

  19. I hate travelling because of the germs and the simple idea that in flight, I am breathing recycles air. Everytime I leave my house I think I’m going to get ill. It’s no fun and my hands are sort of like the flesh of a mummy (or what’s left of it, I guess.) I totally understand your pain.
    Best of luck friend.

  20. I have a hard with travel and gluten free food. I think vegan/vegetarian would be easier to find..

  21. I love travel except when it’s for work. Then I am on their schedule and doing what I have to do, not what I want. I have learned to put my brain in neutral and just cruise through the work stuff. It makes the time go much faster.

  22. Places must make a killing off of charging for the internet connection. Unless people aren’t like me and don’t need it all the time like sweet sweet heroin.

  23. If someone greeted me with the professional chest bump they’d be my best friend for life. Seriously. I love arriving at a destination and the thought of going somewhere wonderful. However, I agree that the plane thing, hotel nonsense, stress, and rushing to re-stock the house when you return is a nightmare. I guess that’s why Xanax exists. And hotel room jacuzzis are the worst. It’s the most disgusting concept. After a night of drinking and bad decisions I somehow ended up in one. The only thing I got out of it was a urinary tract infection and prune skin.

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