Introducing ‘Veginem’

I enjoy vegan food. I enjoy Eminem. It seemed like a natural combination, so I present to you my debut as “Veginem.”

(This will only make sense if you’re familiar with his hit, “Lose Yourself,” so please read it with the same rhythm—minus a middle stanza—and do the gangsta lean, yo.)

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LOSE YOURSELF (in plant-based food)

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity,

to seize every great food you ever wanted—one moment.

Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

Yo.

My stomach is growling, knees weak, arms are heavy,

I could have a rice bowl or sandwich, maybe spaghetti.

(Sorry for the pictures. I’m not a food blogger.)

Eating plant-based isn’t hard and I am always ready,

to enjoy whatever foods people keep on forgetting.

You say “vegan,” the whole crowd objects so loud,

I open my mouth, and the words come right out,

“It’s just food, people! Made without animals now.

Like grains, veggies and nuts. I can show you how!”

 

Silk Almond Milk, Larabars, BumbleBars, Wild Garden hummus, Once Again Sunflower Seed Butter, Earthly Choice farro

 Snap back to reality, Oh there goes dairy,

Oh there goes eggs, I said,

I love food, and I won’t give that up.

People don’t know, and dismiss veggies in haste,

It don’t matter,  I know how good plant-based can taste.

Use websites and blogs, yo,

Nothing’s stagnant, you know.

When I go to start cooking, that’s when it’s

back to the store again, off to the grocery.

Better go capture those sales and hope it don’t pass me by, yo.

 

Hook [x2]

You better lose yourself in the plant foods, the great taste,

You own it, you better never let it go.

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to glow,

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

 

No more games. I’ma change what you call taste,

Eat this motherfreaking salad gone and leave no waste.

I tried kale in the beginning, the mood all changed.

I chewed it up and spit it out and booed that leaf off stage.

But I’ve always loved spinach and every other green,

And grains and nuts and fruits, with other stuff in between.

All that taste inside amplified by the fact,

that I can get by, with my 5-9 servings.

 SunButter and banana sandwich on Ezekiel bread.

And I can consume the right foods that will please,

Cause man, there are meatless burgers with “cheese,”

and pizza tastes great, and legumes rule my plate, this is my life.

People say that’s it’s hard, but you have to reconcile,

If I can do it so can you, while

Never getting caught up between being a vegan and a prima donna

All the preachy drama screaming on and

I just never really wanna

 Amy’s Kitchen, Daiya, Earth Balance, Ezekiel Bread

 Put you on the spot, but days of “Ugh, vegan food?”

Has gotten me to the point, I’m like “Hey dude,

You’ve got to formulate a plot and give plant-based a shot.

Better health is now your option, heart failure’s not.

Say for one meal a day, ‘this meat has got to go,’

Small changes add up to more than you know.”

So here you go it’s your shot,

food fail you not, this is the only body that you got.

 

  Hook [x2]

You better lose yourself in the plant foods, the great taste,

You own it, you better never let it go.

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to glow,

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

 

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P.S. I respect everyone’s choices. This post is supposed to be fun. Play nice.