Things That Are Better Than Shopping

This is the time of year when I get cynical and want to hibernate even more than usual. Why? Because after a week of people talking about how thankful they are, they trample each other in store lines to buy things that they don’t need.

But instead of focusing on the negative, I made a list of the simple pleasures that don’t cost a thing and are a million times better than standing in line at 4 o’clock in the morning.

Things That Are Better Than Shopping

Getting gas before the price jumps up.

Remembering my online passwords on the first try.

Finally being able to pee after having to hold it forever.

When people wave a “thank you” to me after I let them merge into my lane.

Baby goats. And sloths.

When everything I’m cooking gets done at the same exact time.

Being able to get a bunch of stupid little chores done while that food is cooking.

Heated car seats.

Having those stringy things on a banana come off with the banana peel.

Noticing the long lines at the grocery store but having a cashier open a new lane right when I get there.

Getting a card in the mail.

The smell of the bakery and the coffee aisle at the grocery store.

Having somebody else wash my hair.

Finishing a good book and knowing I have another book waiting that I can start next.

Seeing senior citizen couples holding hands.

Thinking the toilet is going to back up and then having everything flush down okay.

Sitting in a car that’s made really warm by only the sun.

Finding one more piece of (insert favorite food thing) in the cupboard when I thought it was already gone.

Hearing babies laugh.

Getting the Final Jeopardy question/Wheel of Fortune bonus round puzzle right when none of the contestants do.

Memorizing automated phone menu options so I can fly through the call.

Having an actual person answer the phone instead.

Pulling the crusts off my sandwich in one long complete piece without breaking before eating them first.

Sneaking through a public restroom door before it closes so I don’t have to touch the handle.

Starting a new piece of gum.

Having my arms full of something and picking the right pocket that my keys are actually in.

Carrying laundry in my arms from the basket without dropping even one sock.

The smell of toast.

Cleaning the lint trap of the dryer and pulling it off in one strip.

Noticing a beautiful flower growing in weeds or a barren plot of land.

Nodding to a stranger doing the same thing in silent understanding.

Finally sneezing after feeling the sneeze coming on for what felt like forever.

Getting to my destination exactly when my favorite song ends on the radio.

Drunk nuns (if you haven’t read it yet, click over here.)

Even if you are into shopping—no judgment, as I’ll assume you’re not one of the “tramples small children for TVs” people—what would you add to the list?

Need a holiday gift? Avoid the stores and buy the books!