When I wrote the “I Don’t Get It” post, I kept coming back to one thing. Since I’m feeling cranky, I decided to give it a separate post.
No, this won’t be about helpful baking hints—this time—but rather that I don’t understand why some people get so worked up about certain things other people do, simply because they’re don’t like or understand the same things.
I joke and gripe about people who watch “The Bachelor” or that feel the need to share their obsession with self-portraits or the reproductive habits of sea mammals 25 times a day via every social media site created, but in all honesty, I really couldn’t care less.
My sarcasm is like a high colonic for creative constipation, so I vent my issues.
But if a responsible adult* wants to spend their time on the Internet “pinning” things or reading blogs, watching sports or trashy TV or scouring store windows for shoes or shingles, who cares?
If a responsible adult wants to marry someone of the same sex, do something horribly misguided with their hair or occasionally spend the money they earned on something slightly impractical, how does that really affect everyone else in the “big picture”?
Most of the time, it doesn’t.
But yet people will make a point to express their displeasure and confusion over the fact that someone made a choice they didn’t personally agree with or understand.
*Of course the key word is “responsible” adult, meaning other necessities such as family, friends, cleaning, bills and employment are not neglected as a result.
For example, you probably knew I’m a vegetarian. If you don’t, you do now.
I choose not to eat meat or fish, and unless someone has expressed an interest in my lifestyle, I will never preach about my or their diet. Ethical/ecological issues aside, their diet doesn’t affect me, just like me not eating meat doesn’t affect them. All it basically means is more greens for me and more meat for you.
But for once my point isn’t really about food.
It was just one example because there’s often a lot of judgment surrounding the topic. I could have just as easily used anything as it relates to lifestyle, recreational or professional choices — they’re all under the microscope of cynicism from time to time.
Don’t get me wrong in that I snark and watch “Fashion Police” on my couch in sweatpants and my ESPN T-shirt. However joking about it or being annoyed is one thing—come to think of it, it’s kind of my thing—but there’s a line between general griping and judgmental interference.
I’m not sure if it’s part insecurity, part boredom or just “I want this person to be this way but because they’re not I’m pissed.” Whatever it is, I have to ask, who cares?
Well, sometimes I do.
But then I remind myself that wasting my energy on worrying about the things other people do leaves less energy for me to worry about the person who searched for my blog with, “Are women wearing banana clips and fuzzy thongs again?”
Now if you don’t mind, I have some research to do.
Like the blog? Buy the book.
if you catch me using pinterest please send The New York Jets football team over to my house to whip my ass and rip up my man card.
I have a post on PInterest that I’m going to put up this weekend. I have to let it marinate first…
I have a Pinterest account.
Does this mean we can no longer be friends?
Liz, you could poke pins in my eyes and we would still be friends.
Ok, this is good.
I’m a headin’ over to my Pinterest site right now to pin a photo of you.
Good lord ma’am, I could’ve written this myself. Word for word. I joke and I make fun but when it comes down to it, I don’t care. I will never get tweeting, but I respect the right of others to need to tell everyone what they are doing, a million times a day, in 160 characters or less. (Is it 160? If so that was one hell of a guess, or me hearing it on television programs too often).
I know you weren’t trying to be this serious but this is something I keep thinking about watching a presidential debate every other night. Let’s just worry about ourselves and then we’ll all be collectively “bettered”…or something.
…I see that you have a Pinterest post queued up. I’m ready.
It’s not that I don’t care about other people, but that I don’t stress when they do something annoying that has no bearing on me. Save the drama for your mama, yo! Or something. As for Pinterest, I basically invented it, so that post will be up next 😉
I hear you. I’m a veg too – and I feel the same way. Not only do I not care about what you eat, I don’t want to tell you about what or why i’m a vegetarian. Why do you care?!?!? IT DOESN’T MATTER AND ITS NOT INTERESTING EVER.
I stopped caring a long time ago. It makes life so much simpler!
Isn’t Larry David the greatest? Yes, yes he is but who the fuck cares, right ? 😉
I totally respect your vegetarian ways.As long as nobody gives me shit for eating bacon wrapped shrimp with a diet root beer (not diet coke cause that shit IS nasty), i don’t give a shit.
On another note, I bet the care bears care.
Well, caring is in their job description…
And the food was just a random example, but you know what I mean. Pork away, woman. Pork away!
—Yes. I agreeeee.
Who really Cares…or as I’d say “Who really gives a shit!’
Can’t wait to read your book !!
But now you’ve left me with the lingering question… Are women really wearing banana clips and fuzzy thongs again?
I’m currently looking into this issue and have a few focus groups to conduct this weekend. I don’t want to present false results until conclusive evidence has been collected.
I hit the same issues. I never put anything serious on Facebook. A few times a day, I throw up some sarcastic snarky remark. I have ticked off more people, who then want to argue with me online. I can’t get people to understand, IT WAS A JOKE. And even if it wasn’t, it isn’t hurting you.
Computers are hard because you can never know what tone people are getting from your words. That’s what freaks me out sometimes, as I feel like what I post is misunderstood. But yes on Facebook things. I used to get extremely annoyed by some people’s updates, but then I realized it was my fault for exposing myself to it in the first place. As long as it’s not affecting me, I can deal with being annoyed 😉
People stick their noses into other people’s business way too much. We should all be more self-absorbed, and a lot less other-people absorbed.
I’m going to read that with an optimistic tone and assume you meant “more self-aware.” 😉
Yes, bloody excellent. I think people get a new sense of what a vegetarian is by knowing me because I never preach to them. Its my choice; it doesn’t have to be theirs. And that opens up conversations. Since I don’t get preachy, they feel comfortable asking me all kinds of questions about it and they learn something new. Cool beans.
I agree with you completely. Let everyone be.
On the other hand people piss me off all the time. The things they say and do piss me off so much – and its usually because they’re trying to change the way other people act.
But I still let them be 🙂
Oh please. I’m not saying I don’t get annoyed every five seconds and pissy for no reason, but I know it’s only because I let myself be annoyed. People are weird. It’s just a matter of finding ones that are weirdest like us and putting up with what we can 😉
The more I talk about sex with friends, the more I realize I was born with an amazingly open mind – certain things that bother other people just don’t bother me. I don’t CARE what other people do in their own time. I think people should be able to do whatever they want in that arena, as long as it doesn’t cause harm to another living thing.
…and as long as I don’t have to watch.
Thank you, as that’s pretty much what I meant even if my words are being misunderstood. I’m not all super bitter and crabby about everything. I just “don’t get” why people care so much about the gossipy parts of other people’s lives to the point of stressing themselves out. To each their own! 🙂
I think people think other people care when they don’t. People always justify why they watch The Bachelor, why they pin, why they are vegetarians and I wish they’d stop. Because I don’t care!
Yup. Just own whatever you do. Don’t spend your time justifying it.
I care and I don’t. Part of me cares what people are doing in a general sense because I’m curious by nature, but I find that the overshared, unnecessary, or irrelevant information doesn’t interest me that much. I’m more interested in the subtle, undershared, mundane details of people’s lives. I’m nosy.
However, I don’t really get peeved or provoked when other share this type of information. They may be doing it for a number of reasons that I know nothing about and certainly have nothing to do with me. In many cases, if someone’s actions are bothering me it’s usually a reflection of me and my stress levels rather than what anyone else has done or said.
Exactly. Of course we’re all curious. That wasn’t my point. My point was more about the gossip factor with things. I find when I’m stressed and dealing with my own crap, I have a much lower tolerance for gossip and drama people create. But I’m nosy as well 😉
EXACTLY! And like you, I care sometimes, too. But what sets my caring apart from “others'” caring is that I may judge you from my couch in my standard “uniform” of no-bra, t-shirt, and pajama pants, but I’m never going to interfere with your right to do whatever the hell it is you want to do. You know…unless it’s like murdering somebody or something…then I might get off the couch and try to stop you. Otherwise, live and let live, I say.
I hear you, and I love you even more for your usage of Larry David to illustrate this point. That was pretttyyy…prettyyyyyyyyy…pretttyyyy good.
And I also like to talk shit about random things that are annoying me or that I don’t understand, but the reality is that it’s just words, and probably not keeping me up at night. In essence, “who cares”, indeed.
Yes. (commenting with care.)
I just have to say I agree! Unless the actions others take directly affect me or my family, I tend not to put too much thought into what they’re doing and I wish others would take the same stance.
I’ve had about enough of people who get offended at every little thing that anyone else does. Get a hobby!