Deva from “My Life Suckers” Has Issues

First of all, thanks to everyone who had nice and encouraging things to say about my last post and the Zazzle store on Facebook (and in the imagined conversations I had with you in my head.)

I’ll remind you every once in awhile when I add new things, but I won’t be annoying because a) that’s annoying and b) I’ll probably forget. But I didn’t forget today is Friday, which means another blogger is sharing their issues.

Today we have none other than Internet video star Deva Dalporto from MyLifeSuckers, and by “Internet video star” I don’t mean in the Kardashian way.

No, while she’s too humble to brag about it, I will tell you she is the force behind the viral videos parodying songs like, “Let It Go” from “Frozen” and “Fancy” from Iggy Izalea, among others.

She’s pretty much a rock star.

I tried to get her to make a video of her replies to a polka medley or two, but no luck, so we’ll just have to settle for text. With that said, let’s roll out the barrel with Deva!


Name: Deva Dalporto

Blog: MyLifeSuckers

Where, what and why do you write?

I write and make videos about my crazy life-sucking life as a mom. If I didn’t write about it, I would curl up in a ball and cry. And that would be pathetic.

When my kids aren’t home, I write at my kitchen counter because it’s close to the teapot. And I love tea. Like love, love tea. I probably should have been British. When my kids are home, I try to hide in my bedroom and work, but they always find me.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

Five freakin’ fifty???? The kids couldn’t have let me sleep until six? It’s inhuman to wake someone up before six.

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

My adult acne. I mean REALLY! God must hate me. He couldn’t have given me a break between acne and wrinkles? Just a few Neutrogena-fresh years?

Three websites you visit every day.

Facebook. Er, Facebook. And, um, Facebook.

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

I load a mean dishwasher. I’m very proud of my dishwasher loading skills. I can fit in an amazing amount of stuff without anything touching. It really is a marvel.

And I’m very critical of other people’s dishwasher loading skills. Like when someone takes up the whole bottom row with a big bowl, I just shake my head and wonder WHY??? WTF is wrong with people? You can’t take up valuable real estate that should be reserved for plates with ONE bowl. I mean, do you KNOW how many plates you can get into the space that one big bowl takes up? Sheesh.

Favorite place to be?

In bed. Except I’m an insomniac so it’s kind of a torturous relationship. I hate being in bed when I can’t sleep and my mind is running a million miles an hour reminding me that I’M GOING TO DIE some day. Good times. But besides the insomnia part, I love being in bed.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

I would get rid of Standard Time and keep us on Daylight Savings Time. Standard Time is the devil. Who wants it to get dark at 4 pm? And adjusting to time changes with kids is hell on earth. Really, time changes need to go.

What TV show would you want to appear on?

Project Runway, except I can’t sew. I really just want to hang out with Tim Gunn and have him tell me to, “Make it work.”

Best and worst things I could find in your refrigerator right now?

Best is my Humbolt Fog Goat Cheese. I have been dairy-free for six years and the doctor just gave me the all-clear for goat cheese, so I’ve been indulging in a hunk per night. That’s OK, right?

Worst thing in my fridge would have to be that disgustingly moldy container of yogurt that I keep forgetting to throw out. But I just tell myself I’m educating the kids about fungi. They don’t get enough science in school these days so I’m just doing my part.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

When is the last time you showered, Deva? Why, do I smell? I smell, don’t I? UGH. Oh, to answer your (my) question—I have no idea. Showering is a luxury I rarely afford myself these days.

Stink aside, go check her out after you share one of your issues: What’s the worst thing I could find in your fridge right now?

Like the blog? Buy the books!


19 responses to “Deva from “My Life Suckers” Has Issues

  1. Deva is hilarious in print, video, whatever, but how, HOW could you ask me what is in my fridge?? It is my dirty little science experiment smack dab in the middle of my kitchen. I’m sure there is something awful in there right now, but it’s not like I’m going to look. I did just throw out a liquified cucumber. Or maybe it was an eggplant . . .

  2. She’s just as cool in person, even if I only got to talk to her for 5 minutes.

  3. It was great meeting you as well, shitastrophy!

  4. I LOVE Deva! She’s my home girl!

  5. Love it!! Long live Let It Go!

  6. I also hate the time change. wtf? It’s not necessary anymore!

  7. Other than the smelling part, the petri dish fridge and your love of Project Runway, we are practically twins. No, seriously I totally agree with you on the DLS scam. Just another device created by men to ruin our lives! 🙂

  8. hollowtreeventures

    Down with time change, up with Deva!

  9. Deva sounds great. Will check out her site now. My fridge failure is a piece of pumpkin that used to be orange but is now black. Ugh!

  10. About two years ago a soda can exploded inside my garage fridge, and I have been ignoring it…for two years. Every time I open the door to get drinks or whatever, I see the brown splatter all over the interior walls and think, yeah, that’s nasty and I should clean it up. But do you know how long it takes to clean the inside of a refrigerator? Especially with 2 kids who want to “help.” And it’s in the garage, so who cares? Anyway, I loved Deva’s issues and will totally check out her blog. 🙂

  11. Love it! A fellow song parody person! Going to check it out right now.:)

  12. Deva is fabulous! She’s a rock star but doesn’t know it, which means she doesn’t leave messes in her wake and she’s super sweet 😉

  13. I love Deva – her parodies are AWESOME!

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